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Helping Your Significant Other Understand Your Needs

Whether you’re simply dating, involved in a serious relationship or partners in a seasoned marriage, understanding your significant other’s needs is pivotal to the success of this intimate partnership. To be fair, as the dynamics of different relationships vary on so many different levels, so do the needs of the participants involved.

Appreciate Your Partner’s Differences

Remember the best-selling novel, Men Are From Mars And Women Are From Venus, that delved into the many differences between the sexes? Author John Gray shares, “When men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom.” Recognizing and embracing the differences between the two different people involved within the relationship will ensure there’s less friction and more understanding.

For instance, if you recognize your partner has a need for a sense of order, rather than becoming irritated about them straightening pictures or constantly cleaning, understand that this is simply a behavior and they aren’t doing it to annoy you. When you have that type of understanding, you are more likely to be compassionate towards them instead of becoming frustrated.

Look For Signs

While communication is key to any successful relationship, sometimes putting our thoughts and emotions into words can be difficult. Fortunately, after you’ve gotten to know someone on a deeper level, you’ll start to notice certain clues to their emotional state.

For example, when some people become angry they might lash out irrationally while others will quietly brood over the situation. Learn to pick up on your partner’s moods so that you can provide them with additional support and understanding when necessary.

Understanding Changes

As we grow and continue to age, we often go through changes in life, whether they’re psychological ones, like a mid-life crisis or medical issues that come along naturally with aging, these types of situations can often redefine a relationship. If you’re partner is diagnosed with a medical ailment for example, do some research on their diagnosis so that you’ll know what to expect in their particular situation so you can be more understanding and less critical of changing behaviors or moods.

Compassion and Caring

While men seem to want more sex in a relationship and women crave more compassion and affection, this certainly isn’t true in every partnership regardless of gender. Sexual satisfaction, that deep need to be physically intimate with another person is present regardless if someone is involved in a relationship. This defines our very basic psychological and emotional need to love and be loved in return.

The need for intimacy and affection, while these feelings may seem similar inside a loving relationship, they can mean many different things to various types of people. Some can feel intimate through a complex conversation while others may need physical contact to make that intimate connection with another person. And as we all know, above and beyond sexual contact, sometimes people just need to be held and comforted. Recognizing the differences when these different needs need to be met can be crucial to a couple’s happiness.

The partnership involved with meeting your significant other’s needs and having yours met in return, ensures that you’ll both feel safe and secure in your relationship. While you should always communicate openly with your partner, but also look for other signs that they could be in need.

Researched and written by Mark Kirkpatrick