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Bipolar Disorder

We have seen a lot of movies that put the spotlight on mental illness. Movies like "Girl, Interrupted," "Prozac Nation," "Rain man," and very recently "Silver Linings Playbook" and "Infinite Polar Bear," to name a few. These movies portray what it is like to have mental illness.  Lately, the important issue of mental illness has made it to...
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Addiction is a disease. It can turn someone strong into a powerless human being. It can make someone a prisoner in their own body. "My name is Laura and I am an addict." That sentence took me three years to say out loud. I always will be an addict, but I am currently in recovery. Recovery never ends. I watched addiction in my...
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Medications can be an excellent form of treatment for bipolar disorder. There are multiple forms of medications including anti-psychotics, anti-depressants, mood stabilizers and anti-anxiety. For me, the most difficult aspect of taking medications is waiting for them start working. Whether I’m in a depression or a manic state, there aren’t any...
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Dear Bipolar, You have been my closest companion over the years. You found me in high school and refused to leave my side. You convinced everyone that I was always low and moody, making me lose friends in the process. You convinced me that I was less of a person because you chose to live with me, but I tell you now that you are no longer...
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Since learning I have bipolar disorder, I have come to the reluctant realization that progress doesn’t always occur on my timetable. In my mind, I can see how things will be when I’m “all better,” but every time I race towards recovery, I inevitably stumble. It’s like trying to run before you know how to crawl.I force myself to be social and...
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It’s funny how the mind works. Before I signed up to contribute to this blog, I had everything to say about what it is like to live with bipolar disorder. I would think about all the different metaphors I could use to describe what it’s like to experience mania, or to live through a depressive episode. I rarely journal, but when I do it is...
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I’m not who I say I am. That’s because my family would prefer I not use my given name. Many of them don’t believe in bipolar disorder. They think my difficulties were created by using street stimulants during my halcyon Hollywood years, struggling to stay slender for the cameras. Taking mood stabilizers, antidepressants? Just more drug...
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This is the fourth in a series of 26 posts covering a variety of stress management tools and techniques, starting with the letter A. For some background information on stress and bipolar disorder, the blogger recommends reading her three-part series, “Getting a Handle on Stress When You Have Bipolar Disorder,” starting with the first one. Welcome...
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Depression can swiftly overtake you like the tide rolling in, its current pulling you out to sea. It is like drowning, like suffocating beneath the surface as the world goes on above you. The water muffles sound and slows your movements. There is only darkness below, and it threatens to swallow you whole. You feel the fluid rush between your...
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Running Stop Signs

July 5, 2016
I was driving much too fast. I didn’t see the stop sign. I sailed right through. The stereo was pumping and my hands gripped the wheel. My foot was pushing harder on the accelerator.I came up to a second stop sign and again I saw nothing. I pushed on the pedal to go straight through the junction, just as a truck pulled out from my right. My brakes...
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I hate coincidences. Ever since I’ve recovered from my bipolar psychosis, I’ve had to be wary of coincidences. Psychosis is a very difficult thing to deal with and understand. I’m going to attempt to delve into this very taboo subject because I want people to know what it is like to live with psychosis. I also want to dispel the myth that once...
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My Symbol of Hope

June 30, 2016
For many months, I have been suffering from suicidal ideations. I was completely honest with my psychiatrist, my family and friends who support me. I told them that it was not something I wanted to act on, but I couldn’t get the thought out of my mind. For more than six months, the idea of suicide was constantly there. I didn’t have one day where...
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