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Bipolar Disorder

Approximately three years ago I started noticing that something wasn’t quite right. At first it was little things, like putting my glasses in a desk drawer instead of on my nightstand like I normally would. That was just the beginning. It progressed rapidly. Within months I was forgetting things more often. I would have a doctor’s appointment and...
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I have been dealing with social anxiety since around the time I was diagnosed with Bipolar. That’s 8 long years dealing with both Bipolar and social anxiety. I used to keep myself at arms-length from people for fear of being rejected, since my social anxiety causes weird behaviors. These can be misconstrued very easily if you don’t know me well....
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One of my favorite movies is Silver Linings Playbook.  It is the first mainstream movie I’ve ever seen that accurately depicts the specific symptoms that each character has.  It goes into great detail about delusions, manic episodes, depression and all around bipolar symptoms.  It even goes as far as demonstrating the way people...
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Some days, I want to get off the ride. Some days, I just want to be “normal.” I don’t want to deal with unpleasant side effects of medications. I don’t want to endure my lows or spiral out of control during my highs. I don’t want to be crazy. I don’t want to fall short. I don’t want to struggle through my days. Living with bipolar disorder can be...
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Suicide is a permanent solution to what, with the proper help, could be a short-term situation. It needn't be permanent. Seek the help and support you need.When I attempted suicide, I caught my support system off guard, including my doctors and psychiatric nurse. I had kept my feelings to myself. I survived the next day, so I called my kids and...
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Hey guys! If you haven’t noticed, this is excitingly my first blog post for IBPF. I just thought that maybe before jumping into all the big issues, you might want to know a little about me and my relations with bipolar disorder. And I totally understand! Whenever I read a new blog, I kind of want to know a little bit about the person who’s writing...
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I can hardly believe that it has been 10 years since I received a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. I wish I could go back and tell my terrified teenage self that though life would sometimes be a roller coaster of ups and downs, a very bright future full of hope and joy would await me. It took a while to learn how to navigate this disorder, and the...
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Coping with the side effects of bipolar is often a matter of trial and error. What works one day, sometimes doesn't work the next. That's why I'm always on the lookout for ways to get through the day that can connect me with the world while also easing some of the more difficult symptoms of my condition. Some days, yoga and meditation work, but...
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judgMENTAL (Filipino)

July 26, 2016
This article is available in English here. “Ginagawa mo namang malaking bagay yang sakit mo sa utak!” “Puro yang sakit mo na lang lagi sinasabi mo. Masyado mong ginagawang glamoroso!” “Hindi mo naman kailangan ng gamot eh. Nasa utak mo lang yan!” “Maging postibo ka lang, kaya mo naman yan eh.” Nakakasawa nang marinig, oo. Nakakapagod.Alam ko...
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judgMENTAL

July 26, 2016
Above: mixed media on canvas by Zaeli Eliza“You're making mental illness as if it's a big deal!” “You talk too much about it. You're glamorizing your illness!” “You don't need medication. It's all in your head.” “Think positive. Toughen it up.” Clichés, I know.Thinking it over, most of the time, the way I express how I go through the diurnal...
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Managing emotions is something that comes along with many mental health diagnoses, especially bipolar disorder. It’s always one emotion or another and every one of them is usually to the extreme. Some of the emotions I deal with include anger, depression, hopelessness, loneliness, indifference, fear, sadness, love, happiness, trust, peacefulness,...
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The Blahs

July 21, 2016
Here’s a post I didn’t think I’d ever write! I have been on what is considered to be the best mood stabilizer for over a year, and my mood symptoms have been totally under control. No ups, no downs. I have also been taken off the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) by my doctor, so there is absolutely no cycling. In the past, I would be...
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