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Bipolar Disorder

To all the hurting souls, My leaps and twirls; do they travel to you? That enduring energy flowing through the crisp air; do you eat it? When it rains, my dear, I dance in it. I laugh as the rain drops fall upon my nose. Do you feel the rhythm transcend through my dancing feet into the earth and up your body emerging into your soul? My dear,...
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Poem: Madness

November 8, 2016
The vile potion of madness struck her like a lightening bolt gone astray. For what are we more than but a misty cloud roaming the night sky in the search for a shining star to give us the light and hope we are forever searching for. She walks the streets alone, every stride, every tiring step, in the hope of a sunny day in her foggy mind. Don’t...
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The bangs of my head felt somewhat hollow against the cold hospital walls, for some odd reason, everything feels cold here.  The cold grasp of the nurses hands as she tried to comfort me back to sanity. But dear God, what IS sanity in it’s most organic form? Is it like the flowers I arranged in my room last Tuesday? Slowly falling from a...
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Successful Relapse

November 8, 2016
It isn't enough to just have a mental illness in your life. There is so much to balance: learning coping skills, managing medications, managing medication side effects, identifying triggers so you're prepared for them when they hit, advocating for yourself because there's a whole bunch of people who don't understand mental illness at all, etc. The...
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“Oh my God,” my sister said, “you sounded just like Dad when you screamed at your wife during an argument!” She said that my head turned in a certain way just like our dad’s used to when he was in one of his frequent rages. “I thought he rose from the dead for a moment and you were him,” she laughed. My poor wife of nearly seven years is...
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No Time For You

November 4, 2016
Living with mental illness is hard enough without outside interference, but no one can avoid the outside interference of everyday life. Whether you work full time, go to school, have hectic family lives, or any combination of these things; they all add more weight to what you’re dealing with already when you wake up. Recently, I mentioned how...
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The year is 2000. I’m working as a journalist in a small Connecticut shoreline town. I’m barely hanging on. My brain is shorting out. No one on or off staff knows how to help me. During this time, I would stay up all night working on stories, then come into work the next morning disheveled and ranting. I would laugh at inappropriate things....
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It's All Good

November 2, 2016
I am a mom of three kids – four if you count my bipolar disorder, which can act just as (if not more) juvenile than my kids sometimes. I also take care of my two aging in-laws; they are both 73 years old. Then, of course, I am a wife. I take two medications for my illness; they both make me tired. This couldn’t be more frustrating. I don’t...
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This is the sixth in a series of 26 posts covering a variety of stress management tools and techniques, starting with the letter A. For some background information on stress and bipolar disorder, the blogger recommends reading her three-part series, “Getting a Handle on Stress When You Have Bipolar Disorder,” starting with Part 1. Welcome to...
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Parenting With Bipolar

October 31, 2016
Being a parent and having a bipolar diagnosis is hard. Before I was diagnosed with bipolar, my world revolved around parenting. As a stay at home mom, that was my job. I would have to say I was a really good parent at that time. My son was my pride and joy. He always came first and I enjoyed spending as much time with him as possible. But...
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“Get a support system.” That seems to be the number one thing I have heard since being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I would look at doctors and therapists and tell them I didn’t have anyone. What about family? No. Spouse? No. Friends? They wouldn’t understand. I found my support system through classes my medical insurance provided,...
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This is a painfully personal blog post. I considered writing the sub-title as “Meth and Madness” to balance two one-word nouns, but “madness” is a stigmatizing word, in my opinion. This is a personal blog post because six members of my family (immediate and extended) fell under the spell of crystal meth (short for crystal methamphetamine). The...
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