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Family and Friends Who Mean Well But Really Have No Clue

 We've all heard it before, or something similar, "This too shall pass". "Just puts your big girl panties on". "You've been here before, you can do it again". 

While our loved ones mean well, in the throes of depression, these are sometimes the absolute worst things to say to someone living in what seems to be the depths of doom. Sometimes saying nothing, is the best support one can offer. A silent hug, a nod of the head, a kind smile does wonders for someone who feels like they have nothing to offer but a terrible burden to those they love. 

Like clockwork, daylight savings messed with my moods, I quickly swing from ok to not well at all. I struggle with explaining my feelings to those who are either quick to embrace me, excuse me of "playing the victim yet again, or changing the subject all together. I realize that the latter is a distraction technique used by well meaning loved ones who have no idea how to deal with my ever increasing mood swings. The amount of pressure I put on my family is palpable. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that a lot of the reason we try to isolate is because of the tremendous amount of guilt we feel by letting our family down once again, whether this is actually true, or just a lie or disease tries to trick us into believing. I encourage loved ones and care givers to find support systems for yourselves. 

This battle takes its toll on you as well, and you are often the silent victim. Without you, we would be lost. With much love and gratitude I thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

 

Comments

This is exactly how i feel, and i have no support, Iv'e heard this words over and over and am sick of it

Nicole, you really nailed it here.

The time change is a perfect example of when our body's circadian rhythms sometimes lag behind our brain's ability to absorb just this one tiny hour of time.

Please don't tell me to, "Just get over it," Mom! If I could, don't you think I would?

Sigh. Sometimes I think I need to wear my Operating Instructions on a sign and wear them as a piece of jewelry around my neck. READ ME FIRST before you even think of giving me advice about my many moods!

Love it! Just read an old blog of mine that was similar and I talk about chronic pain. So many times, unless you have it, you don't fully understand, but mean well. It is true that caregivers should also seek support as well because you are right Nicole, a lot can be guilt. I know it is with me.

I too have exactly the same. My mum looks at me with disappointment. The others with discontent. Anger. Drama and y can't she just get over herself! !! I hate it when the sun comes up...here we go again....Y can't I sleep when I'm supposed to.

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