Last year at this time, I was soaring high with my first full-blown manic episode. I was feeling better than I've felt in my entire life. Colors were brighter, music sounded better, and my talents came out like never before. I had recently taken up painting and my work was amazing. Music sounded incredible. I swear I could hear each and every note from every individual instrument that was playing. I'm not a singer, but I sang loudly with songs and I was on key for a change. I had superpowers and was invincible. At least I thought I was.
You are here
And sometimes it’s me! Anyone who is around me when I’m in a mania knows that I’m loud, speak rapidly and make sure that everyone knows that I’m the expert on any subject that comes up. My wife thinks that the resemblance is remarkable….
This type of painting is my way of telling those close to me that I know how I can be and am sorry.
I hope that you got a smile from this and know at least one person that this reminds you of.
On Wednesday, December 11 of 2013 I ended up somewhere I never thought I’d be again...in a psychiatric hospital unit room in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. After having a manic episode. It was also the exact same unit that I was in during my last manic episode in May of 2007.
How did I end up in here again?!
I had been admitted to the hospital around breakfast time the day before and to be honest had mostly rested that day.
Dr. Haase is an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center and in private practice in psychiatry. She is a member of the Human Sexuality Committee of the Group for the Advancement of Psychiatry, which has been interested in the relationship between bipolar disorders and sexuality, and has been exploring the relationship between elevated mood states and romantic love.
I destroyed my first marriage through infidelity, wild spending sprees, outbursts of rage, and many of the other hallmarks of uncontrolled bipolar mania. People who know the ugly details of my story are often surprised to learn that my second marriage is so successful and solid. How can my spouse trust me? How can I trust myself?