I want to talk to you all about something that I experienced very intensely when I first started taking medication. What happened was I felt a very strong dull feeling inside. I was no longer feeling the lows, but I was also no longer feeling the highs either. So, I was just left with a sort of bored feeling constantly.
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This webinar will discuss the diagnosis of bipolar disorder in children and adolescents as well as treatment strategies for bipolar disorder and comorbid conditions.
A few of my friends who know that I have been diagnosed with bipolar have come to ask for advice on how to help someone they know, someone who seems to be going off the rails.
Recently an ex-colleague asked about how to engage a friend who has stopped taking his medication. She was concerned because his mood swings were still evident and he had been starting numerous projects without finishing them.
When I’m high, I can fly. When I’m low, I sink into the deepest, darkest place. I keep wishing I could change this.
One of my medications in particular gets me through the day. It’s actually supposed to help with anxiety, but it sort of has the opposite effect on me. I’ve realized that without it, I am worthless. Less than worthless. I just want to sit there. To merely exist. I don’t want to rely on pills to get me through life, but I know I have to. I know because I’ve gone off my meds. Many times. I felt better, so I thought I didn’t need pills.
I can hear movement in the house as I lie in bed, trying to convince my mind and body that it is time to get up. The front door opening and closing as my partner leaves to take his regular walk across to the local newsagents, music coming from my daughter’s room, her feet making contact with the laminated floor, probably dancing yet again, and the low tone of the television coming from the living room.
Today I am focusing on Evanescence’s song Lithium. Lithium is a drug sometimes associated with bipolar disorder since it has been fairly successful in helping stabilize manic and depressive episodes. Lithium was first used to treat mania in 1970. Kay Jamison wrote about the benefits of the drug in “An Unquiet Mind” stating
“I’d rather been skinny and crazy than fat and sane.”
And that is no joke. We talk about side effects of our medications but what about the side effects we get from the side effects of your medication. I’m talking about fat. Yup. A woman’s favorite word to hate:
F A T.