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A Mixed Episode

Deborah B.

A mixed episode…my latest road-trip from one pole to the other…with road food

For extra fun these last three days--I've been experiencing symptoms of a mixed episode. I am wildly rosy and ready to take charge...and simultaneously weeping uncontrollably. And unable to sleep.

I wept while I cleaned and alphabetized the pantry.

Fought back guttural sobs as I made chicken stock and spice cake.

And then I turned on my local Public Broadcasting Station. Rick Steves was in Provence. I was not. As he chatted it up with a woman living in a stone hut...A STONE HUT (!) in Aix, I was blinded by tears that splashed from my chin onto my t-shirt. I let go. THAT was supposed to be my stone hut. Rick Steves was supposed to be chatting it up with me, the ex-patriot come to France to cook, write...and keep chickens and honeybees for goodness sake!

And now, here I am, unable to slow my thoughts or keep the ones I'm able to catch. With that mild-but-unyielding headache that comes from unrest.

I have eaten badly today. Spice Cake from a box with too many ingredients I cannot pronounce. Knowing my blood pressure is all-of-a-sudden high, had coffee. Salted my quinoa/Brussel's sprouts/currant pilaf. Had absurdly-delicious California Benedict @ Crackers & Co. with Alexis. With potatoes.

And as it comes upon the hour of 5:30am, I bid you good day.

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