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One Step Forward; Two Steps Back

This year has been particularly difficult for me. When depression hit, it hit hard. When it rains, it pours → as they say. Right as I thought I was pulling myself through, I hit rock bottom. With sinus infections and chronic migraines all year, it's no wonder that I've struggled. Yet through it all, here I am. Doing my part to better myself, and in turn doing what I can to enlighten those around me.

Now that Autumn has arrived at my doorstep, I am once again enthralled at the charm that nature brings with the changing of the colors. With red, yellow, and orange, being my favorite colors, it is no wonder that my joy within me has increased tenfold! The arrival of pumpkins and All Hallows Eve only days away with the goblins galore that will soon be wandering the streets of town, my heart swells at the beauty of it all.

Most often then not, with the coming of winter there are so many that feel opposite the way I feel about the coming of the new season. Missing loved ones and the bitter cold of winter's storms at our doorstep brings anxiety and (most unfortunately) depression. And believe me, I understand that those moments are most difficult to get through at times. I also know that surrounding yourself with the simple pleasures you find in life make a big difference, especially when your sanity is at stake.

So this is my call to you: Fear not, for this too shall pass. When winter is at it's coldest, make a pot of hot chocolate, curl up in your favorite and warmest of blankets, and thumb through the best parts of your comic strip journal that you have worked on all year in my absence. Then, when you have finished eating the last puffy, half melted marshmallow from your hot chocolate, phone a friend. Only one, it doesn't matter which. Whether you talk to them or not, just leave a message for them and let them know you were thinking about them today and the thought of them brought you comfort in one of your darkest of hours. Simple as that.

Your life and the world around you is as beautiful or as gloomy as you perceive it to be. We may not always be able to control what comes to our mind and how we feel about those thoughts. But with a bit of self control we can certainly control what stays on our mind and in our thoughts. With that little bit of effort on our parts, our moods will shift accordingly. Bringing us happiness, or misery, it is ultimately up to us. And yes, there are many times that even that is beyond our control. I understand that more than anyone.

All I mean to say is that we need to become and stay aware of ourselves so that we can do all we can to continue to grow healthily and happily so that those moments when we do feel out of control, the medications are there to aide us and provide support when we need it most. Our medications should not be a crutch, or a burden. Instead, think of them as our first aide kit. We need to do our part to be healthy, but in case of an emergency, the pills are there to provide aide when we need them most. But they don't work if you don't take them. So I encourage all to stay on them, especially when you feel you don't need them.

So when life gets in the way and you feel yourself taking one step forward, and two steps back, just remember these words and the words of others. We are all here to aide one another when we need each other most of all. So, turn these words around and continue to take two steps forward so that your one step back doesn't completely overwhelm you.

My name is Eva, and these are my thoughts.....

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