As far back as I can remember, we have always been fed the same philosophy about life. You grow up, go to college, meet the man (or woman) of your dreams, get married, move into a big house with a white picket fence, and have a whole gaggle of kids. That’s what our parents did….or tried to do, so now it’s our turn. What happens if life doesn’t go that way for you? Have you failed at life? In 2014, shouldn’t we have advanced in our thinking, so that the moment 2 people get married, we don’t instantly say, “So? When are you having kids?” I was lucky enough that my parents never said th
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This issue is close to heart. Mental illness/Bipolar vs. pregnancy. To conceive or not conceive? The odds of having a child also with a mental illness? What are the medication risks? Because of so many facts that go into these issues, and I could write for days, I have limited this more to the mental and basic decision-making aspects, and have limited the detail of pharmaceutical aspects.
My baby is almost a year old now and I’m still unstable.
This statement confuses my family and friends because on the outside, I seem like myself again – I shower and wear make-up on a regular basis, my sense of humor is back and I’ve gone back to work. I’m functioning in my usual Type A manner.
On the inside, I feel like I’m walking a highwire.
Some days, I wake up wobbly, but I have my balance pole handy. The elements still effect me – the sun can burn me, the rain can soak me, the cold can still enter my bones – but I manage.
I was the first of my friends to decide to start a family. I was only 22, and most people in my social circle were a long way from settling down, let alone having a baby. They tried to be supportive during the pregnancy and in the early days of parenthood, but I could tell they didn’t really get why caring for my newborn son left me so exhausted and preoccupied. Sure, they knew that babies wake up in the night, and you have to get up and do something to sort them out, but I was at home with the baby 24/7, right? What did I do all day?
To Be or Not To Be....THAT is the Question.......
This year, I had several friends celebrating Mother's Day for the very first time with their newborns. I was so happy and excited for them; starting a family and moving into the next phase of their life. However, I couldn't help but be a little sad because I am not at that point in my life yet. Having children is something that I do want to do eventually, when the time is right.
They come in threes.
1. I spun out over Time Magazine’s controversial article Are You Mom Enough? extolling the virtues of attachment parenting, AKA, baby-centered parenting, which includes breastfeeding well into toddler years, co-sleeping and a strong distain for sleep training.
2. I read about Aimee Ziegler’s death due to postpartum psychosis.
3. I had a postpartum OCD relapse right before my first Mother’s Day.