This is part one of a three part series. Before I was pregnant someone said to me that I shouldn’t have kids because I have bipolar. This person said I might not be a good mom because I could possibly go manic or depressed at some point. This person said I would not be able to handle the hormones, stress and lack of sleep and might hurt my...
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August 8, 2014
Lately I’ve been wondering about friendship, including what I can realistically offer as a friend now. To be honest, I don’t have that much to give this summer. It has only been a year since my last hospitalization for bipolar depression. I’ve had multiple hospitalizations for bipolar disorder since I was diagnosed in 2007...
August 2, 2014
When I was a child, I always imagined myself living in the country when I was an adult. Living off the grid in a small cottage in the woods, completely self-sustainable surrounded by beautiful rolling hills and lush green fields and keeping a goat for company. As it turned out, as an adult that dream hasn’t come to fruition. Instead, I have...
June 19, 2014
Dyane L. Harwood
I had great aspirations to write a high-quality bipolar-themed blog post last weekend. I envisioned typing a few paragraphs filled with a pearl of wisdom or two that I’ve learned since I started recovering from bipolar depression.It ain't gonna happen. I've given up. I realized that I need a levity break. Summer is in the...
June 19, 2014
Letting go can be one of the most difficult decisions you have to make in your life. Especially when it comes to people in your life that you so desperately want to care about. When you finally come to the realization that they don’t care for you nearly on the level that you care for them, you find yourself systematically following...
June 5, 2014
Strength, for me, is fleeting. The strength I may feel on any given day will most likely not be duplicated on the following day. Weakness, however, seems to be a constant. Each and every day there will be multiple occasions where I decide that I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t try, I can’t fight, and I certainly can’t win....
May 2, 2014
Relationships are a difficult thing to navigate, especially when you suffer from depression. If you are one of the fortunate people that has found perhaps a handful of people that understand your pain, your mood swings, and your sadness, consider yourself extremely lucky. I have spent most of my adult life terrified I was pushing people...
May 1, 2014
It’s my birthday. I’m 37 today. I have lived with the diagnosis of bipolar disorder for eight years. In that time, literally almost every permutation of the disease has been applied to my particular state. Early-onset but undiagnosed. Cyclothymia. Bipolar II. Bipolar I. Rapid Cycling. Mixed states....
April 21, 2014
"Stigma = a mark of disgrace or infamy; a stain or reproach, as on one's reputation"I was diagnosed with postpartum bipolar disorder in October of 2007, six weeks after the birth of my second daughter. I was thirty-seven-years-old when I admitted myself into a locked-down mental facility at our local hospital. While there, a psychiatrist met...
April 14, 2014
Good afternoon readers, I hope this entry finds you fighting to keep going. Because I truly believe with all my heart every precious life has such Value in this world, and I want to offer you as much encouragement as I possibly can, and reassure you that you are never alone in this struggle. Before I go...
April 7, 2014
When you suffer from depression, there is really no such thing as “normal” anymore. What you may consider to be normal, some people may not even be able to fathom. You long for a sense of normalcy. You wish you could get up in the morning and feel ready to take on the day, and feel as if each day has been lived to the fullest....
March 14, 2014
Trying to explain Bipolar Disorder to a three year old and a five year old was one of the hardest things I have ever done. How was I going to put this into words that they could understand? Telling them that I was in the hospital because I was tired was more confusing to them. Everyday they saw me taking my medication, and everyday...