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Relationships

I just watched A Beautiful Mind again and found the premise that love conquers all somewhat hyperbolic in the film (I kept thinking, “If you’d just take your meds…”).  But then I remembered my college English teacher, who said hyperbole usually contains a shred of truth that it is built on. So, I thought I would chronical my life and loves...
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You Are My Reason

February 17, 2015
Good evening readers, what a cold frigid night were having. But I’m thankful I am inside where it’s nice and warm. Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and it’s a celebration of love, but it shouldn’t just be on this special day, but every day, we experience love in some form, whether it’s love between husband  and wife, between boyfriend and...
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Abandonment and Rejection

February 11, 2015
I woke up one day in 2011 in a 50 feet by 50 feet room lying on a mattress on the floor. One week had elapsed since I was consciously aware of where I was. My phone had gone off and I had not shown up for work or called any of my family members in a week. The only sign of what could have happened in that week was an empty bottle of vodka right...
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Around Christmas I got into an argument with my ex-husband, no big surprise there.  Communication has never been our strongest asset.  Anyway during the argument he said some things that really upset me and have really stayed with me.  He said, “Quit playing the victim and living off the system all the time and quit teaching your...
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The Down Side of Up and Down

November 18, 2014
My short but disastrous history of relationships and friendships,  probably lend credence to the argument that it is next to impossible to live with a Bipolar 1 sufferer, with an lavish, lashing of PSTD, just to add a little extra spice. Personally, I fear that people (especially when enamoured) are too quick to make commitments or...
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Talk therapy is a big part of my treatment plan.  I can’t go without it.  I know medication is a necessity for me, but I need my therapist.  I need cognitive behavioral techniques, and I need coping skills.  It’s a struggle for me to simply function some days.  Lots of days. Every time I leave my therapist, I feel so...
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Hinges of Marriage

November 11, 2014
“We don’t have anything in common” my friend lamented, “sometimes I wonder why we even stay together.” As I listened I absently glanced at our white patio doors with it’s 3 hinges. “Well” I shared with sudden inspiration “it only takes three hinges to hold a door open.” I then shared the hinges needed in the marriage of one of my...
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This is part three of a three part series: Part One: Planning for a Family When You Have Bipolar Part Two: From Pregnant to Mommy The next hurdle was returning to work. I’ve been back to work for almost 6 months now, and was quite surprised with myself that the transition went very well. It turns out that I am the kind of mom who...
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I do sometimes wonder whether to share my emotions with my partner. On the one hand, he wants to know my thoughts and feelings – there would be no real intimacy in a relationship if we didn’t share on a deeper level. On the other hand, being open does put me in a vulnerable place. As mentioned in an earlier post, I can feel judged when he...
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My Emotions Are Not Me

September 19, 2014
Being in a relationship with someone is both rewarding and frightening. There have been times during my 9-month-old relationship that I wonder how he is able to handle the intensity of my emotions. I remember one night, after we took our night walk, I was sitting in McDonalds and I started to sob uncontrollably. He didn’t seem fazed at all,...
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My Emotional Roller Coaster

September 18, 2014
I have been on an emotional roller coaster lately.  I was feeling really anxious and depressed, so my psychiatrist upped my meds.  I then felt worse.  Crying every day.  Crying for no reason.  My parents came over one day while I was crying, and my daughter told them, “She’s been crying a lot lately.”  I don’t want my...
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A Garden Full of Flowers

September 17, 2014
What is the one thing that you love? What is the one thing that you hate? ‘Thing’ has so many definitions and in a broad sense covers the spectrum of anything and everything – no matter how minute, ‘it’ holds great significance. There are positives and negatives everywhere, but incorporating both is what makes for a wonderful life.There is a yin...
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