The couch at the hospital near the bed of my brother felt hard and impersonal. He was facing surgery to have part of his foot amputated as a result of diabetes.
The medical staff told us he would go into surgery at 11:45 am. It turned out to be 2:30 pm. Since he couldn’t eat or drink anything he was nauseated and vomiting.
As we faced this challenge it helped us to ask ourselves “do we have total, partial or no control over this situation?” Knowing that we couldn’t hurry up the other 3 surgeries helped us accept that we had no control and choose to play Uno and listen to hypnosis before the procedure.
This experience brought another story to mind. My dear friend had her life turned in a tail-spin when her husband sent her a text saying that he wanted a divorce, and then began threatening to kill himself.
As my friend applied the “total, partial and no control” analysis she found that the only thing she had control over was trying to maintain some of her own sanity, so she spent time in her beloved flowers. This choice allowed her a sense of peace and she was able to get through the crisis one hour at a time. Eventually when the time was right, she suggested to her husband that they may be dealing with a mental illness issue.
When we ask ourselves whether we have total, partial or no control over life’s challenges we are able to see more clearly and avoid holes in the road that may otherwise stop us.
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