I wrote this piece to express how I've felt stigmatized by those who haven't gotten past how I've been doing better with bipolar one. While it's obvious in this piece that I am angry, I believe there is hope for healing for us all."Out in the Milkweed”In some disturbing way that you would never openly admit You want me to remain Mentally ill...
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My Biggest Competitor
January 28, 2015
It’s no secret that I have struggled with bipolar disorder for several years. What may be less known is that I have also fought hard to overcome numerous setbacks and personal losses as a result of my illness. I don’t like that I have had to deal with an illness as cruel as bipolar disorder can be, but the more I focus on how unfair it is the less...
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A Journey to Health and Resilience
January 27, 2015
I didn’t realize it, but I have been on a quest for the past 20 years. At first, it felt like I was just trying to figure myself out. I wasn’t happy with my life as it was laid out for me. So like many people in their late teens and early twenties, I bounced around from place to place, trying on different “personality outfits” to see which...
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Learning to Be Stable
January 27, 2015
What is ‘stable’? After 6 years of constant ups and downs I wouldn’t know what euthymia was like if it slapped me in the face. I was diagnosed with unipolar depression when I was 20 and up until 22 (when I was re-diagnosed with bipolar), I thought I had been cycling in and out of depression and euthymia on a yearly basis. I would spend...
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Goals
January 27, 2015
Good afternoon readers: It is a cold and rainy day, yet I find such relaxation when I write and when I blog. It is such a passion of mine. This month’s topic is Goals. We are in a new year, a new beginning. I know some of you may set New Year’s resolutions, and some may find it pointless because you find yourself not following through. That’s why...
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When We Value Things Differently
January 21, 2015
In my last blog entry I wrote about the art of giving space and the example I gave was more about physical space. Since then I have had a think about a different type of giving space – giving others the space to value things differently. I think it helps me to choose positive perspectives, which in turn aids in managing my mood. I have seen a...
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Planning Ahead for Your Next Episode
January 20, 2015
I just finished filling out a WRAP plan with the help of my therapist. WRAP stands for Wellness Recovery Action Plan. The plan can be found at mentalhealthrecovery.com and is free to print out. This isn’t the first time I’ve filled out the plan. Years ago while I was in an acute treatment unit for severe depression (before my bipolar I...
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How to Deal with A Negative Person
January 20, 2015
My daughter was having challenges with her boss. Despite her best efforts all she got was verbal and non-verbal criticism. “I don’t like that…you need to do it my way…you’re not good enough.” Although she is naturally a positive person, every time her boss came around her shoulders would sag, her nerves would tighten and her day would turn...
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Bipolar Mother, Bipolar Son
January 15, 2015
I dreamed of having a child throughout my formative years. When asked what I would be when I grew up, I readily answered “A Mommy!” I doted on baby dolls, babysat throughout my teen years and dressed every cat we ever owned up as a baby. I deeply wanted to know the connection, but had problems with my reproductive system,...
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Who Am I?
January 14, 2015
I sat in a chair at a psychiatrist’s office and am asked questions that provoke me to describe both my depressive and hypomanic states. It was painful yet enlightening. When I am depressed I am stupid, lazy and useless. When I am depressed I am weak, unlovable and a waste of skin.When I am depressed I am paranoid, reactive and...
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