I call you dearest because I know you don't believe it about yourself, but you are dear to so many. Right now, at 19 years of age, you want to cease existing, and you're trying to figure out how. I want to tell you to STOP. Stop and look around you. Stop and feel the softness of your blanket. Stop and look at the pictures surrounding you. Stop and hear the beautiful music playing from your Walkman (remember when you used those?). Go to the kitchen and find something delicious Momma made for supper to taste.