As I sit down to write this blog, I am reflecting on my last post and where I am at today. All I can come up with is that for me living with bipolar is all encompassing. It is present in every action I take or do not take. It undermines my sense of self and often distorts reality. Accepting this fact is exceptionally difficult but I know there is nothing I can do about it except to learn to live with the illness as best I can.
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It has been almost 8 months since my last blog. It is hard to believe how much time has passed. I literally could not write- or read for that matter.
So yes, I have been exceptionally unwell but I would like to share some aspects of my experience over the past 8 months or so and my ongoing recovery with you.
It’s been months since my last full scale manic episode. However, the road to today has been paved with mixed episodes, depression, and frustrating medication changes. Some days I despair that life is passing me by whilst I wrestle with the utter exhaustion of having bipolar. Then there are other days I get a glimpse of life beyond the walls of bipolar.
I keep hearing the word acceptance when it comes to living with bipolar. But what exactly does it mean to me?
A doctor once told me acceptance means acknowledging a fact, but not necessarily being “ok” with it. I was uncertain so I looked it up.
My name is Nicole, but most people call me Nic. Mostly because it’s easier and faster to say, but also because Australians are fond of a nickname!
Nicole Fleming is presently a stay at home mum to her 3 year old daughter Georgie and 3 Burmese cats. She lives in Brisbane, Australia.
Nicole is keenly interested in the human experience, not only with mental health issues, but the full spectrum life has to offer.
She suffers from Bipolar affective disorder type II and complex post traumatic stress disorder.