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(This is my digital painting illustrating my psychosis during the year of 2009.)
“I am going to rule the world. I am the queen of Rome. Everybody here on Earth will be destroyed by God and I will be the only one left…” After I gave birth, I became the queen of Rome (this is why I use Rome Loyola as my pen name) – that is what I believed for many passing days and months.
Having been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I have not only been feeling physically, emotionally, and mentally ill, but financially as well. The cost of medicine is sickening considering that I need to buy it for maintenance.
In the year 2009, I gave birth to my son. After this event in my life, my suffering began. I started to find it hard to sleep at night. I often would stay awake each night staring at the ceiling of my room. It lasted for about a week and I began to have hallucinations and delusions. I also stopped taking baths and caring for my personal hygiene. Besides seeing Jesus Christ and Mother Mary, I believed that someone was out there, wanting to kill me. I was kicked out of my job, and become a beggar on the street.
Art, music, modelling, and crafts- these are just some examples of therapy that people with bipolar disorder have been using as personal therapy. I enjoy all of these creative outlets, but there are two things in particular that I have been doing to keep myself sane and sound: reading and writing.
Having been diagnosed as a manic depressive in 2009, I have had my roller coaster ride on this illness. My brain starts to function in such a manner that no one could ever understand or fathom the swings in my moods and behavior. As a person with bipolar disorder myself, I experienced extremities in my way of thinking. More often than not, this destroys my relationship with the people around me and with people I am acquainted with.
My name is Rome. I am 34 years old and was born August 11, 1982 in Manila, Philippines. I am currently teaching in a private school here in the Philippines. My interests includes painting, making art projects, writing blogs, reading books, singing and making myself productive by doing side businesses. I am also an environmentalist and an advocate against stigma for people diagnosed with mental illness.