friendship

 We've all heard it before, or something similar, "This too shall pass". "Just puts your big girl panties on". "You've been here before, you can do it again". 

While our loved ones mean well, in the throes of depression, these are sometimes the absolute worst things to say to someone living in what seems to be the depths of doom. Sometimes saying nothing, is the best support one can offer. A silent hug, a nod of the head, a kind smile does wonders for someone who feels like they have nothing to offer but a terrible burden to those they love. 

I have a friend who is an expert in her field. She is respected by the community and gives presentations from her knowledge base. She is also a talented artist and sells her painted wineglasses at many gift stores in the area. She plays the piano at her church every Sunday. She travels with her husband and two kids and they hike and camp regularly. She also runs marathons. 

She is a very important person in my life and lately I really hate her. I feel awful saying that and I don't really hate her, I am just extremely jealous. 

‘Sometimes I just want to crawl under a rock. It seems as if that is the safest place; the hardness of the rock will protect me from what I don’t want to face and I don’t need to exert energy into doing anything anyone asks of me. I can escape to the darkness this rock shield provides and be alive in my own world without a care.’ 

Lately I’ve been wondering about friendship, including what I can realistically offer as a friend now.  To be honest, I don’t have that much to give this summer.  It has only been a year since my last hospitalization for bipolar depression.   

I’ve had multiple hospitalizations for bipolar disorder since I was diagnosed in 2007 six weeks after the birth of my second daughter.  

Patience means...

Not the ability to wait but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting

I read this recently...and here are some thoughts I have on what I am waiting for...

I read this recently...and here are some thoughts I have on what I am waiting for...