I was sitting around the other day thinking about how long it has been since I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 18 and all that has happened since then. It’s quite interesting because I seem to remember my first inpatient stay still so vividly, but I think I always will as I know many people who don’t forget their hospital stays no matter how long it has been.
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Relapse is both a fear and a loitering thought in the minds of many recovering from any illness or disease. I know for me personally, I always feared relapse of my bipolar disorder and my self-injury. The longer I went doing well; the fear joined the loitering thought of relapse in the back of my mind. Looking at why fear was associated with the possibility of relapse, I came to realize it was a result of an array of feelings which I hate to even think about, yet plague me on a daily basis.