Laura Low

Editor’s Note: The views and opinions in this blog are the author’s and do not represent those of International Bipolar Foundation. The 2016 US election has been stressful for many people, and our bloggers often write about stressful events in their lives and how they cope with them. We recently published a blog on this topic from someone who voted for Hillary Clinton, so we reached out to our bloggers to find someone who voted for Donald Trump in order to have both viewpoints represented. 

“Get a support system.” That seems to be the number one thing I have heard since being diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I would look at doctors and therapists and tell them I didn’t have anyone. What about family? No. Spouse? No. Friends? They wouldn’t understand. 

September is Suicide Prevention Month. This is my story of my suicide attempt on September 12, 2014. I have chosen to share this to raise awareness – it has never been told before. 

Blink. “One, two, three.” My limp body slid to the ER table. Blink. The bright light. Blink. Scissors cutting my shirt. Blink. “She’s crashing!” Black. I heard my mom’s voice, felt her touch. I could see my grandparents and my mom looking at me. “She’s not ready.” Black.  

If you walked into my house right now, this is what you would see: dishes piling up, laundry in piles waiting to be folded, a dirty floor and me in bed.

Addiction is a disease. It can turn someone strong into a powerless human being. It can make someone a prisoner in their own body. 

"My name is Laura and I am an addict." That sentence took me three years to say out loud. I always will be an addict, but I am currently in recovery. Recovery never ends. I watched addiction in my childhood and I swore to myself I would never reach that point. Little did I know that bipolar disorder and addiction come hand-in-hand. So how did it start? 

“I want a divorce.” The sentence I was afraid of was coming finally came from his mouth. It felt like a ton of bricks and an ache in my stomach. I felt like I was in a movie where the camera zooms out and shows you like an ant.

My name is Laura Low. I am a single mom to two girls. I live in Shingle Springs, California with my daughters, our two dogs and cat. I also have a small farm where I raise chickens, goats and pigs.