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Zoe DeCicco

Running Stop Signs

I was driving much too fast. I didn’t see the stop sign. I sailed right through. The stereo was pumping and my hands gripped the wheel. My foot was pushing harder on the accelerator.

I came up to a second stop sign and again I saw nothing. I pushed on the pedal to go straight through the junction, just as a truck pulled out from my right. My brakes squealed as I slammed my foot down. I jammed my fist on the horn with all my might as the truck also braked hard. The driver stared open-mouthed at me as I angrily pulled off, swearing, the anger frothing in my mouth.

Learning Relapse Prevention The Hard Way: A Military Spouse's Experience

When I married my husband, who is in the US Air Force, I knew life would be tough as a military wife, but I had not realized how much harder it would be with my newly-diagnosed mental health condition - bipolar disorder type 1. 

I met my husband in England whilst he was stationed overseas, and as an English woman, I fell in love with the American who loved Harley Davidsons and said ‘yes ma’am’. It was wonderfully romantic, with a proposal in Italy, and we were married just over six months later. 

Zoe DeCicco

My name is Zoe DeCicco. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1 in 2013, after 20 years of living with a diagnosis of depression and borderline personality disorder. My moods change rapidly and I have very little time outside my either mixed or depressive episodes. 

I also experience panic disorder and generalized anxiety, which can be equally debilitating. Sometimes I can’t leave my house, or hold conversations with people.