Something I am Proud Of:
I have been living with Bipolar 1 Disorder since 2023. However my Journey did not start there. My earliest symptoms started in 2020 , shortly after the birth of my third baby. I was on maternity leave from the military and I had just had company over. After they left, I remember sitting in my room wondering if people noticed how often my mood shifted, if they noticed how I disassociated in the middle of our conversations, if they heard the same loud voice that I randomly heard. They, in fact, did notice. I decided to bring it up to my provider at the time , and was shrugged off multiple times , and told it was just stress and essentially, to get back to work.
I struggled a few more months till i was eventually hospitalized for my symptoms and ultimately , transferred to another duty station. It wasn’t until this change and the initiation of my medical discharge from the military was I “heard”. After my discharge is when things started to get shaky though. Even though I was heard, I was still unmedicated, and still struggling to reach out for help. I felt scared. However after I hit rock bottom, mentally , financially, and emotionally shortly after my discharge I decided it was time for a change. Now, it was time to start advocating for myself.
I remember my first appointment through the Veteran’s Affairs, I just let it all out! I was honest about everything and did not hold back a single thing. And I was NOT taking getting brushed off again. I needed help, not only for myself but for my three children who needed me. From then on, my voice was finally, actually heard and taken into consideration. I was placed on medication, and scheduled with a psychiatrist and therapist.
I’ve stuck to that treatment plan since then and I’m always honest about what I’m going through when it comes to speaking with my team of medical professionals. During that time, I’ve learned that advocating for yourself and being honest were key. Two things I’ve always struggled with before I was diagnosed.
Since being diagnosed and medicated, I’ve been in a pretty stable place. Something I hadn’t been in, in years! I still struggle with accepting this is a lifelong disability, however I always tell myself I have not, and will not let my disability limit my hopes and dreams. I’m currently a junior in college and a stay at home mom, I’ve studied abroad , I’ve traveled to 6 countries this year alone , and any obstacle that I’ve crossed thus far, I have always powered through it with my head held high and the upmost confidence!
Message for Newly Diagnosed:
You do not have to fight alone! There is a community out there that is willing to fight with you! I joined a community of veterans who were medically discharged and also a bipolar support system, and they have always been so helpful to me. I’ve even created a space for others to be able to vent and feel safe within our small community!
Always be honest and speak up for yourself! It may seem hard, but it’s truly what’s best. It’s 100 percent okay to ask for help when you need it because there are people meant to help you!
This also may be hard but don’t put yourself in a box! Your hopes and dreams are not limited! Shoot for the stars! You will get there! You got this!
