Author: Mallory Beckwith, LPC
Can two individuals with bipolar disorder have a healthy relationship and make it work?
The answer to this question is yes. But it may take extra time, effort, forgiveness, compassion and even counseling. Take my husband and I for example. We were both diagnosed with bipolar 1 with psychotic features when we were 27 years old and dating each other.
Even from the beginning, our parents did not want us to be together because we drove each other deeper and deeper into our psychotic fantasy worlds. But when my husband had a violent manic episode which led him to being diagnosed – he quickly was medicated and began to stabilize.
Later I struggled with rapid cycling and also got diagnosed with bipolar. The meds did not work as quickly for me though as they did for him. No one wanted us to be together while I was on a hellish roller coaster, checking in and out of hospitals, trying out different medications. But he was the only person on this earth who truly understood the intensity of those mood swings. And boy they were devastating.
I finally stabilized and got put on the highest dose possible of an antipsychotic medication. While my family thought I was strange for showing absolutely no emotion (the meds turned me into a robot) my husband understood what I was going through because he too was numbed out on antipsychotic meds.
My husband got tired of feeling so numb all the time too and did come off of his medications. He lied to me about it for a week. I found out after he lashed out at me in the car. He was starting to go manic, I held him accountable and he immediately got back on his medications.
Together we navigated some very dark and tricky territories but together we were stronger than alone.
Now we are married and stable. We both see two different incredible doctors that work at the same practice. If my mood starts dipping my husband says “Mallory it is time to reach out to your doctor.” One time I got so depressed I could not stop wailing so he got on my portal and reached out to my doctor for me. He knew I was struggling to ask for help myself.
Just because I have a mood episode or my husband has a mood episode, life keeps going. We live in a different city than all of our family members so if something happens, we have to be there for one another. Our families have their own struggles and can’t drop everything to help us every time our mood shifts which is completely understandable. I know I will be fine because my husband understands my illness and I understand his. We are each other’s rocks.
I will say it can be difficult when I get depressed and he gets hypomanic. Our moods are on such different levels it can be difficult for us to communicate. But we do make it work because we love each other and we are sensitive to what the other person is going through. I am bipolar and I am married to someone who is bipolar and I would not have it any other way.
Mallory Beckwith is a published author who wrote a disturbingly powerful memoir, Bipolar Flames, on her journey getting diagnosed with bipolar disorder, fighting addiction, and grounding back into reality after years of being psychotic. Mallory is Christian and writes about how the power of her faith helped her get through some dangerously low episodes in her book. The book gives hope for those struggling with severe mental illness and clarity to family members of a loved one who has bipolar.
The content of the International Bipolar Foundation blogs is for informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician and never disregard professional medical advice because of something you have read in any IBPF content.
