Author: Lexie Manion
A couple months ago, my entire life changed. I left my life as I knew it behind and started my new chapter pursuing my Master’s in Art Therapy. This career path has been my dream since I was a teenager.
In my early eating disorder and depression recoveries, I discovered the healing properties of art therapy in treatment. It wasn’t until my adulthood that my bipolar disorder was finally addressed. I feel secure in my identity today and am ready to take these next steps. I am excited to give back all the support and foundation of inner trust I have been so lovingly provided over the years in therapy.
Before school began, I noticed I had been constantly checking in with my friends — more than usual. I had a lot of free time on my hands, but now I am back in the swing of things. Some of my friends I talk to every few days or every few weeks, and some I talk to more on a daily basis. I have a select few I trust with all of my aches and pains, as well as with my successes and triumphs. It’s incredibly cathartic to be validated by my chosen family.
I realized that with my mentor, a former teacher of mine, messaging her once a day or every few days had notched up to messaging her every few hours. I was aware of this change, but I didn’t know how to slow down. Now that we are figuring a better balance to our friendship, I see that I may have experienced a short period of hypomania.
I have not been in a manic episode for five years. The last time I was in a depressive episode was a few years ago. I’ve been on a steady path and mostly am in a stable state of euthymia, which is a healthy, balanced state — staying out of mania and depression. In my mania, I would experience increased and fast speech. While I didn’t have this symptom in my physical speech in my everyday life, I felt a need to text more.
Hypomania is known as a less severe form of mania and can last for a few days to a week. It is known in this path of recovery that it is natural to slip into episodes of hypomania here or there; recovery is a constant process and we have to work diligently to maintain wellness. Being diagnosed with bipolar just five years ago, just as this is new territory for the people in my life, this is also a learning process for me.
These messages to my mentor were primarily involving exciting news about my big life changes, as well as needing some support here and there. They were our usual avenues of conversation, which made this harder to spot. My mentor is such a safe space of guidance, so it makes sense I felt comfortable going to her so easily. It feels like she has this innate sense of deep compassion and empathy. I sense this because I possess this trait as well.
My mentor does not enforce boundaries in severe ways. Sometimes I feel like I deserve to be told I’m annoying or put down because of past abuse I experienced. She has never made me feel ashamed though, and it’s been refreshing to be given grace and forgiveness, as I’ve had people be unkind in setting boundaries with me in the past.
When I noticed I was reaching out to her frequently, I was the one who offered if we could go back to checking in once a week as we had previously sought out. Being able to lead the direction to my own healing in the relationship made me feel capable and like I was respected. There was also that mutual respect as I was becoming aware I was reaching out frequently and that she would soon become busy with her work again.
A few days later, my mentor noticed I was still texting frequently and she first validated me, and then sent a gentle reminder for me to save all the big things happening in my life for our weekly check- ins so she can best stay updated with my life. There was no shaming or blaming — just pure grace and helpful redirection. She was aware that in this more recent place in my life, I felt a bit untethered with all the change. Knowing this, she was happy to support me with the time she had over the summer. With that validation and understanding, we were also ready for a healthy shift.
In response to her reminder, I wrote down on a piece of paper, “Ms. Brown needs me to be strong.” I shared with her that I set the image of the writing as her contact photo in my phone so I see the reminder every time I felt tempted to reach out — my reminder to slow down, be gentle with myself, and know that she is still rooting for me even though we will be checking in in a more structured way.
The next few weeks as school began, things settled down and now I feel more grounded. Major life changes like moving, changing jobs, or starting out in a new environment can trigger bipolar disorder symptoms. It is helpful for others to be forgiving and gentle with us as we are trying our best with the skills we have at that moment. Many people in mania or hypomania do not have the self-awareness to see that there has been a shift in their everyday moods or actions. It can take time to come out of.
While I remained steady in my wellness, my mood became a bit elevated and I felt a need to constantly be reaching out. In time, these symptoms dissipated due to my flourishing self-care and self compassion practices. I was feeling thankful for the space I was given to set better boundaries. The saying “If someone communicates their boundaries, that is them trying to keep you in their life and not push you away” rang true.
Now that I feel more rooted in my life in this new space, I trust my brain to continue healing. Finding people who are empathetic to and respectful of our challenges and sensitivities is important. There are people out there who understand and will work with us as we continue to get better. Better balance and grace are just around the corner.
Lexie Manion (she/her) is a published writer, passionate artist, and outspoken mental health advocate. She graduated Magna Cum Laude with her BA in Psychology and minor in Art in May of 2024. Pursuing her MA in Art Therapy, she strongly believes art and writing are pillars of healing. You can find more of her work at lexiemanion.com or follow her on Instagram.
The content of the International Bipolar Foundation blogs is for informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician and never disregard professional medical advice because of something you have read in any IBPF content.
