Author: Charles Kelly
“Sometimes when it feels like being in a dark place means getting buried, it may actually mean being planted”- Unknown
During those bleakest days, the deepest self-discoveries emerged—especially when mania escalated. Accepting help through medication and psychoactive therapy was like planting a seed in fresh soil, ready to sprout stronger roots. It also became clear that real strength isn’t about refusing help, but about facing reality head-on and reshaping the future. Opening up in group and music therapy felt uncomfortable at first, yet seeing others’ resilience and self-awareness offered a hint of hope. Even transferring to a different hospital, which initially seemed like failure, revealed itself as a necessary lifeline. Now, being transparent about shifts in mood, eating patterns, or financial habits feels less daunting. Realizing it was always “Charles versus Charles” made it easier to speak up and let genuine healing begin, proving that darkness can be the perfect soil for growth.
“It’s not about what you have accomplished, but the struggles you had to overcome to achieve them—those struggles are the real accomplishment.”- Unknown
This quote resonates in a profound way. Reflecting on a manic episode highlights how true achievement lies not in the accolades themselves, but in the resilience and self-awareness earned through hardship. There was a time of being naive, inconsiderate, and self-centered—yet facing those flaws head-on ultimately led to a deeper understanding of who one truly is, who one wants to become, and the steps needed to get there. Releasing the tendency to blame others cleared the path for real change, revealing a tremendous sense of gratitude. Bipolar disorder may be part of the story, but it doesn’t define identity; instead, recovering and learning from it has unlocked an inner beauty and fulfillment that no amount of success or money could ever replace.
“The greater the obstacle, the more it reveals the missing piece to the puzzle of your true nature, guiding you toward authenticity and long-lasting liberation.” – Unknown
From an early age, thoughts ran deep—yet they were often stuffed away out of fear. Alcohol briefly served as an escape, but it only delayed the real work of learning to manage emotions in healthier ways. A major turning point arrived at 23, darting in and out of psychiatric care. That obstacle exposed how desperately change was needed. Accepting help and following medical advice became the missing puzzle piece: suddenly, the weight of suppressing an authentic self began to lift. Letting go of old mind games and the fear of judgment revealed an inner resilience that had been there all along. Finally owning every layer of identity—“too much” and all—delivered a sense of release from society’s invisible chains. Looking back, it’s clear that genuine health and self-acceptance were worth every challenge, leading to a deep, liberating realization of true nature.
“Stars can’t shine without darkness.”- Unknown
Weathering a manic episode—marked by sleepless nights and a sense of discomfort—turned out to be one of life’s greatest turning points. No class or degree could have taught the lessons that came from facing that intense struggle head-on. Learning to address mental health became essential to realizing bigger dreams and aspirations. It also offered a new perspective on everyday blessings: once a storm like mania is survived, smaller setbacks or criticisms in work or daily life can feel comparatively minor. A fitting metaphor that comes to mind: lighting a lamp in a fully lit room goes unnoticed, much like an achievement without adversity. But in the darkness, a single lamp illuminates the entire space. Overcoming mania felt like lighting that lamp, revealing a newfound resilience and clarity that continue to guide many aspects of life.
“The storm doesn’t last forever, but the strength it leaves behind does.”- Unknown
Mania once fueled illusions of superiority and placed blame everywhere except where it belonged. Being kicked out of college seemed unfair at the time, but it exposed a lurking “Super Ego” that might otherwise have gone unnoticed. Reaching a point of stark transparency—realizing exactly why things had fallen apart—was both humbling and freeing. A line from Tuesdays with Morrie described the need to “die a little” to truly learn how to live, and that rang especially true. Now, each small choice—like sticking to a sleep schedule, limiting caffeine, or keeping a therapy appointment—carries the memory of seven sleepless nights and a hospital stay. Once health was nearly lost, it became incredibly clear how fragile health can be. This hard-earned perspective continues to reinforce a renewed way of living, proving that any storm, no matter how fierce, eventually passes—and leaves behind the resilience to move forward and become a better version of myself.
“Healing isn’t about erasing the past; it’s about weaving every hurt into a tapestry of strength.”- Unknown
Suppressing trauma once seemed like the easier path, but it seeped into every aspect of life, affecting my relationships, work, and overall mindset. Therapy provided a safe environment to confront those wounds and uncover lessons I had ignored. Bringing difficult memories to the surface allowed me to grow and move forward, rather than letting them linger unresolved.I admire those who face challenges openly and work to resolve them without letting pain control their lives. That has become my goal: to learn from the past without allowing it to dictate my present or future. Reflecting with self-compassion, while maintaining healthy boundaries and mental habits, turns those past traumas into a source of strength rather than a barrier to progress.
“When we honor our own struggles, we set free the beauty our mind holds in reserve.” – Unknown
It took me a long time to understand this. For years, I felt broken, like I was less than everyone around me. I believed every person applying for the same opportunities I wanted could see right through me, as if I wore my struggles on my sleeve. Therapy helped me see that my mind wasn’t broken—it was just overwhelmed. When I stopped comparing myself to others and trying to live up to false expectations, I began to uncover glimpses of my true self. Through this process, I realized I could be content with who I was, without constantly seeking approval. Even as a college student living in a small, run-down apartment, I started to notice things I could be grateful for. What about the people who dream of going to college but can’t? Or those with bipolar who lack access to treatment? Gratitude became my foundation, and self-compassion became my guiding force. Honoring my struggles allowed me to uncover a beauty within myself that I never thought existed. It was there all along—I just had to stop searching for it in others.
“It is not about how hard you get hit; it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” – Rocky
This quote carries a deeper meaning for me because of how it relates to my experience with bipolar disorder. When I was hospitalized, my thoughts felt like relentless torment—vivid imagery of suppressed traumas that I could not evade. The medical team struggled to find the right treatment, and I felt completely lost, telling my mother and girlfriend delusions that concerned them. Yet, when the right team came into place and the medication started working, it marked the beginning of moving forward. Reflecting with my therapist helped me understand what I had endured, and I realized how strong I truly was. Surviving a severe manic episode showed me that if I could endure mental chaos for weeks, then fight through the aftermath for a year, I was capable of achieving much more. I could finish college, work a steady job, maintain relationships, and take care of myself. That experience proved my resilience—it wasn’t life that was harder; it was the mental battles I had faced and overcome. Moving forward became possible when I learned to simplify and not overthink every step. It’s a strength I carry with me now, a reminder that the toughest challenges can build the greatest inner strength.
“Fall seven times, stand up eight.” – Japanese Proverb
So far, I have only experienced one severe manic episode, but I could not afford to be blindsided by one like the first time. Preparing for the possibility has been key to my peace of mind. I have created a plan to accelerate recovery if another episode ever occurs, including strategies like running, meditation, eating properly, and identifying the people who would support me during that time. Opening up to my doctor has also been a critical part of this process—discussing warning signs, medications, and next steps ensures that I’m ready for anything. Having a plan does not just bring reassurance; it strengthens the belief that setbacks don’t have to mean losing progress. Instead of viewing challenges as failures, I now see them as opportunities to learn and grow. This shift from a fixed mindset—where I used to feel defeated by mistakes—to a growth mindset has helped me see resilience as something that can be built over time. No matter how many times life knocks me down, I’m determined to get back up that 8th time stronger and more resilient than before.
“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that airplanes take off against the wind.” – Henry Ford
This quote resonates deeply with my experience managing bipolar disorder. When I first entered the hospital, I stubbornly believed I knew exactly what I needed—“Just give me my medication,” I thought. That resistance to alternative treatments, however, became the very thing that allowed my care providers to find a more effective approach for stabilizing me. Even group therapy, which I initially dismissed as pointless, turned out to offer unexpected benefits. Self-compassion was one of the hardest lessons to learn. I felt undeserving of help, consumed by the belief that my past mistakes define me. These feelings were difficult to confront, but journaling and working with my therapist helped shift the narrative, both on paper and in my mind. It became clear that the very aspects of treatment I resisted the most were what I needed to heal and grow. Not everyone around me understood what I was going through. Comments like “Everybody feels that way” or simplistic advice to just “try harder” felt invalidating. Still, I’ve come to accept that not everyone will fully understand, and that’s okay. What matters is that I do the work to manage my condition and move forward, even if society’s understanding hasn’t caught up. Just like planes taking off against the wind, it’s the resistance that has helped me rise stronger.
“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” – C.S. Lewis
During my manic episode, I found myself consumed by deeper questions: “What am I here to do? What is my purpose? What is the meaning of it all?” It was through the chaos of those moments that I began to see how much I had been wasting my life. I was living for my own gratification, with little thought for anyone else. That selfish approach cost me relationships, career opportunities, my academic standing, and even my health. But the manic episode, as painful as it was, became a wake-up call. It forced me to confront everything I had taken for granted—the joy of walking my dog, the ability to learn and grow, and even the small, quiet moments of peace. When those things were stripped away, I realized their immense value. Looking back now, I see how that hardship equipped me with the tools I needed to rebuild. It showed me how to truly appreciate the things that matter most: my health, the love of those closest to me, and the simplicity of a life well-lived. I no longer expect life to hand me anything—it doesn’t have to. Contentment is already within my grasp, thanks to the lessons I learned through adversity. Hardship, as it turns out, prepared me for a future I never imagined, one built not on perfection, but on gratitude, resilience, and the things that bring genuine fulfillment.
The content of the International Bipolar Foundation blogs is for informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician and never disregard professional medical advice because of something you have read in any IBPF content.
