Author: Matthew Palmieri

 

Challenging Misconceptions

 

When I first started sharing my personal experience managing bipolar, I felt both relief and ongoing trepidation that if people around me now knew I had a mental illness, I’d be seen as too much to handle.

 

After sharing my experiences for the first time, I remember people being surprised as well: “Wait, you have bipolar? How long have you had that?!”

 

Too long I’d say. 

 

I challenged my acceptance into more research, finding a lot of great resources on social media, and in the kind of literature that illuminated my understanding of bipolar, often coming in the form of personal narratives that I could see myself within. 

 

There was a community out there that I had no idea existed, with people more than willing to share their stories. As a result, I felt confident mine would resonate, even if on a minor level. 

 

Humanizing Issues and Building Community 

 

Having a soft landing of sorts, in the form of community, really made a huge difference in my temperament while managing bipolar. 

 

Before true acceptance, managing my symptoms always felt debilitating.  

 

After more than a decade from my accurate diagnosis, I realized that my fractured sense of self was something that would help crack open an opportunity to have my voice heard. 

 

I didn’t need to achieve a heightened level of success in order to justify my story. In other words, I didn’t have to conquer my symptoms before getting myself out there. I just had to show up. 

 

As a result, with community, I can see my symptoms in more objective terms. So when I notice these symptoms in others, I can quietly say, “You aren’t alone.” 

 

That’s powerful. My experiences then become part of a larger reality. I now feel an ease to the tension. 

 

An inability to hold down a job, ongoing recovery from damaged personal relationships, a fractured sense of self—these are all byproducts of an illness we didn’t ask for. 

 

Sharing these struggles can help ignite a passion for others to open up. 

 

Emotional Vulnerability and Loosening the Grip 

 

I may always carry with me bitterness having to manage this life long illness, but I do feel confident that the more open I am about my struggles, the less likely those who come across my story may carry that same negativity. 

 

Having a “normal” life may not be in the cards for me. 

 

I will say though, coming to terms with my struggles and accepting their ongoing presence has become easier with time. The more I read about other struggles with bipolar, the less I blame myself. 

 

I’ve learned there is power in acceptance and being vulnerable. The illness doesn’t have to hold such a strong grip. 

 

If I have a bad day, a bad week, or even a bad year, I try to cut myself some slack. I may be symptomatic and once a particular struggle passes—inevitably—I may look back in retrospect with an understanding that my mood was clouded. My judgment was off. 

 

I may always live with regrets, but I know I can mitigate their impact by letting go, often in the form of disclosure.

 

Owning the Story, Shaping the Narrative 

 

I believe advocacy can come in many shapes. It doesn’t necessarily mean we are heavily active on social media or constantly attending meetings. It may be a quiet text. It could be time spent learning about the illness and cutting one’s self some slack, which may have a ripple effect we may not always see. 

 

Hearing successful people share their story managing mental illness can be huge. A willingness to talk about bipolar, especially from those who have a big following, can have a trickle down effect. 

 

Slowly but surely, there is a chipping away that can take place when we bring our story to the world. An openness and willingness to disclose our personal story brings hope and breaks stigma, giving permission to those who may be afraid to share their experience managing bipolar. 

 

Although challenging, sharing my story has helped loosen bipolar’s grip—not just on me, but for others too. I plan to keep going, because every story helps make the next one easier to tell. 

 

The content of the International Bipolar Foundation blogs is for informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician and never disregard professional medical advice because of something you have read in any IBPF content.