Author: Sophia Falco
You are deeply loved. You have not let bipolar disorder 1 define you while living with it for nearly a decade. This is not your fault, and you don’t deserve this suffering. You have persevered through challenging times in the past as a testament to your strength—you can get through this depression too. Taking medication does not make you weak. You have accomplished and achieved your current dreams of graduating from college, and having excelled there. You became the poet you were destined to be, and you continue to make your presence known in the poetry world as a published poet. Don’t ever stop dreaming big. It is true that you are an amazing poet. Remember to continue creating poems because this can free you from some suffering. Keep faith in that notion—especially when picking up the pen to write feels pointless—because when you do create poems you have the power to choose each word carefully. This is a form of power even when it feels like you have lost power to your own mind. You have a lot to offer this world. You were once told by a professor that you admire: “Your strength and your voice are a gift to others, not just to yourself.” and it’s important to believe this because it’s true. Know that you have a lot to say, but know who is safe to express your feelings to, who to ask for help, and who will listen like your closest friends and family. It seems that you are alone (especially when you cry alone) but your friends and family carry you close to their hearts. Recognize that the anger you feel sometimes is really just a cover for sorrow. It’s okay to cry.
It is easier said than done when you’d rather do nothing and it’s hard to move your own body, but you always feel better after going to the basketball court. You enjoy shooting baskets as a way to clear your mind and make many shots. You love the sound of the ball going in the hoop. Recognize that it’s just a thought that you hate taking showers because that is not the reality. Once you get in the shower you like the warmth, and the sound of the water hitting the bottom of the bathtub. Self-care is crucial, and to not go on mini hunger strikes against yourself because that does more harm than good. Instead be kind to yourself and give yourself self-compassion even when you’d rather not. Journaling is a great way to let your thoughts out. Read good books to escape to other worlds. Make collages. Listen to some music. Do some yoga. Though it is difficult for you to meditate, it is so worth doing.
Know when the world is nowhere near to equilibrium there is still beauty and kindness. Nature can be here to comfort you. Go to the beach to witness the amazingly vast, beautiful, and blue ocean, and feel its presence. Mindful walks are helpful. Remember that you enjoy gardening, and it’s best to keep the plants alive. It may seem like this depression will last and last and last with difficulty of seeing a way out, but you’ve done this before. This mood is not permanent, and this too shall pass. You will learn a lot about yourself. Keep hope alive no matter how small. You must remember you are resilient in the face of adversity. Each day is a gift. Take it one day at a time, and moment to moment. Hold on to your dreams tightly. They serve a big purpose. You are enough. Please believe this because there is no room for doubt. You are enough.
Sophia (in wise mind)