Dear Andrea of the past,
You know how you’ve wanted to die for the past few weeks? That horrendous feeling in your stomach that the world is out to get you? The inability to sleep? The agitation? Guess what – you have bipolar disorder.
I know you’re only 14, so you have no context for what that means. Don’t worry, you’re going to learn – fast.
From 26 years in the future, I want to share two core pieces of wisdom that will make your years with bipolar between ages 14 and 40 a lot easier:
1) Life is going to be different than you imagined and hoped, but it is still going to be beautiful.
Right now, you probably have a relatively clear vision mapped out in your head of what you think life should and will look like. School, marriage, financial success, babies, career, world travels…all occurring at just the right times.
My dear girl, let those expectations go. Things aren’t always going to play out according to your plans and will rarely happen on your schedule. If you release your expectations, then all of the beautiful things that DO happen in your life will feel like the gifts from the universe that they are.
And there will be beautiful things. There will be connection and joy of incredible depth. There will be inspiration and transformation. After struggles, there will be triumph. And there will be love. So much love. Never think that people won’t love you because of this condition. They will love you no matter what.
Don’t hold yourself to an arbitrary standard of life and success that you have already built in your head. If you’re happy and contributing to the world, you’re successful. Your brain isn’t like most so your life won’t be either. You must embrace your differences if you want to flourish.
2) Your suffering is temporary.
No matter how bad, how intense, how extreme, how long-lasting your suffering is, I promise you there will ALWAYS be something to ease it and get you to the other side.
There will be times that it doesn’t seem that way. There will be years of misery that seem interminable. But they’re not. They’re long, but they’re not forever. Never give up hope. There will always be something to get you through.
That said, your suffering will also be recurrent so make hay and happiness while the metaphoric sun shines. Don’t take a single moment for granted because none of them are guaranteed.
Darling girl, you’ve got this. Bathe yourself in love, compassion, warmth, and patience. Buckle up and enjoy the ride.