Something I am Proud Of:
I thought if people knew how I felt, I would lose everything. As a kid I experienced trauma, abuse and struggled with addiction. At 14 I was admitted for psychiatric care after a suicide attempt. After that I felt like I needed to pretend everything was ok. I dove in to school and didn’t get more help for almost 20 years. I was ashamed and blamed myself. I didn’t know how bad things were, but because of what had happened I was able to see the darkness when it returned and reached out. I was diagnosed a year ago. After years and years of suffering in silence I am finally able to live out loud.
Advice for Newly Diagnosed:
You are your strongest advocate. Learn to go with the flow and develop healthy coping mechanisms to help the big feelings move through so you don’t get stuck. Find people you trust and feel comfortable sharing with. It is ok to change therapists if it feels like it isn’t a good fit. It is ok to take medication if you need. It is ok to end relationships if they aren’t healthy. If you are struggling and feeling like you are in a state of unease, know that you are not alone, and you can live an enriching and fulfilling life. You have to work hard, and it is worth the struggle to find peace.