Beyond The Beyond

By: Sophia Falco

He resurfaced as I was

drowning at the park, dragging

me down further on such a pristine

day: children running about, playing hide

-and-seek, laughing, groomed dogs barking,

chasing muddy tennis balls and some not muddy

yet I tried to seek

refuge away by sobbing

on another different bench still

on land, but haven’t landed in the

present while the memory of him not

to close to home because home is undefined to

me, and I thought what if I don’t make it too, haunted

by his absence of

presence, across the other

side lies the beyond not a pond,

currently I am barely above the currents,

swirling are the whirlpools, blurring of the

now, the future much more than a distant dream,

the past raging like the river, those nightmares burst

that dam of self-preservation,

a reservation, reserved, to serve, no,

I’ve never served on a battle field, but

these demons in my mind lurk and become

bigger eating the present, and I look in the mirror

not knowing who I am, I am who I am and she doesn’t

like it! I just want an outstretched hand to grasp, and dialed

the phone to reach

my rock all alone in the

park, this mood bigger than the

horizon, to rise like the sun to rise from

bed instead of stuck stuck stuck acting like

I was five trying not to die repeating: “I don’t know”,

really I knew but there were no words in my vocabulary

to describe that immense pain, the flooding of memories

to roll the dice, the

cards were dealt not revealing

my opinion on them yet trying to

break this cycle, I will not be another

who falls, the falling of leaves, changing of

the season, to change to be the person I am meant to be.

Blogger Bio

Sophia Falco is a faithful poet since she finds poetry essential to her understanding of the universe. She is the author of Farewell Clay Dove (UnCollected Press, 2021). In addition, she is the author of her award-winning chapbook: The Immortal Sunflower (UnCollected Press, 2019), the winner of the Mirabai Prize for Poetry, and was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. Furthermore, Falco graduated magna cum laude along with the highest honors in the Literature Department at The University of California, Santa Cruz. Her Bachelor of Arts degree is in intensive literature with a creative writing concentration in poetry. She is honored to be starting a highly regarded Masters of Fine Arts (MFA) Program for poetry along with a teaching fellowship she accepted for Fall 2022. Falco is on her way to make her dream job become a reality to be a Professor of Poetry.

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