By Melinda Goedeke I laugh sarcastically every time I watch a commercial about medication for the treatment of bipolar disorder. Unkempt young men and women are shown in dark, depressing places with vacuous eyes and downtrodden faces until they take the miracle...
by Melinda Goedeke I’m often asked whether or not I saw the signs. What I hear in that question is blame and responsibility; assignment of fault. I didn’t see the signs because there weren’t many to see; I saw Laura – my delightful, radiant, and complicated...
Author: Catalina Bellizzi-Itiola Sometimes I look back at the timeline of my life’s volatile mood fluctuations, and it makes me worry about what on earth my future will look like. Will I hold a job? Will I have a child? Will I be able to survive more episodes? Even...
Author: Kim Joy Barnett In my early 20’s, almost 20 years ago, I was nearing the end of my 5 year college journey to obtain my Bachelors Degree in Sociology at Cal State University, Northridge. What should have taken me 4 years to complete, according to my...
Author: Melinda Goedeke To still my brain, I puzzle. In my world, puzzle is a verb. It is what you do when the thoughts in your mind run rampant and collide leaving you lost in chaos. While puzzling, I only consider the pieces in front of me. Where is the piece...
Author: Melinda Goedeke I have two children. One is low key, mild-mannered, and has a half tooth. The other is high-key, wild-mannered and has a double tooth. Both are brilliant, beautiful and better than me, but one is living, and one is dead. Laura died from bipolar...
Author: Melinda Goedeke We don’t have bonfires. We have scorching, searing conflagrations that silently raise our internal boiling points until we are nearly cooked and charred. We scoot back only an inch as we don’t really want to leave the warmth despite the fear...
Author: Sophia Falco These raindrops resemble teardrops that I believed were almost falling in slow motion, but with the blink of an eye, they hit the pavement despite—what once was 3-D now 2-D is now just an imprint on the sidewalk. A darker shade of gray than the...
Author: Kerri Scott I don’t know what it’s like to live with bipolar disorder but I know what it’s like to lose someone to bipolar disorder. When I was 25, during the heat of the summer I got the news. A mutual friend called to tell me that my boyfriend had died. He...
Author: Natalia Beiser Like most girls, I dreamed of being a mother. Planned were baby names, thoughts of how I would parent and nurture a child, and the locality where I wanted to do so. As a teenager, I was a sought out babysitter. My fantasy was of a family of five...
When tormented musicians perish I overrelate. It becomes more about me than the departed. This is about him. David Bowie. The King of Sound and Vision, crossed divides of age, fame, race, sexuality, politics, and style with theatrical flair and...
I had been out of work for five years and then four months ago, I began working part time. The job completely drained me and so I quit Thursday a week ago. I couldn’t believe how relieved I was afterwards. Then Friday came; I began second-guessing myself...
The days following my dad’s death by suicide were the loneliest of my life. In a roomful of people, in the midst of a hug, in the middle of a conversation, the resounding thought I had was that I was alone. No one had the relationship I did with my dad, no one...
I am just going to come out and say it. I, Nanieve, am relieved that I can finally rip down the gaudy Christmas baubles, fold up the tree, and wipe the stupid but, expected cheerful grin off my face. To me, the festive season feels unbearably stressful....
November 22, 2014 is International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day, a day that much of society most likely does not know anything about. The American Foundation of Suicide Prevention (AFSP) in recognition of a resolution that Senator Harry Reid introduced to the senate,...
I’ve been wanting to write about this topic for a while, but I kept putting it off. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to do it, but more and more I found myself easily distracted. (Thank you social media! I’m blaming you!) 😉 I realized that the...
The concept of a therapist seemed rather peculiar to me. For one, of course this total stranger was going to listen to all of your banter for the lump sum of $100/hour; I think most of us would to the same. And for second, why would you want to banter about the...
A childhood friend from my old L.A. neighborhood passed away in July, the same way that my sister, D’Arcy, died: by a drug-overdose. Both my sister and Susie experienced untreated bipolar disorder-related addiction. Susie’s affluent, educated Hollywood friends did not...
Life was moving along pretty well for me—that is until bipolar disorder found its way to my door. From that point on things started to get very difficult. At first I was hit with severe manic episodes only to fall down so low I found myself knocked down...
