Category: Mania

Racing

Racing

Author: Mallory Bockelman   When I race, I’m MetaMal. Meta meaning more, above, and beyond The race begins easy. Less sleep, more thoughts and energy. Beginning slowly but always building Becoming a force of ideas never ending   This race is not your...

20 Things Only Someone with Bipolar Would Really Understand

20 Things Only Someone with Bipolar Would Really Understand

Author: Phil Cibicki Dedicated to Ian & Annie, who would most understand what I’m talking about here. Thanks for the time I had with both of you and for showing me how to listen, to be kind, and to have an open mind.   I can’t tell which drops come from my tears...

The Two Very Different Sides of Me

The Two Very Different Sides of Me

Author: Ambika Paul   Mania is your favorite song on repeat, an explosion of energy that brews in your mind with saturated ideas all coming at you in a single shot. Gradually consuming your whole body. Mania always feels like a creative journey for me but also...

Lithium and Dialysis, Part V

Lithium and Dialysis, Part V

Author: Natalia A. Beiser Disclaimer: The experiences expressed herein are those of this writer. I appreciate the feedback that has been given to my other blogs on this topic, and I am writing now to address some of the questions and comments that were brought up but...

Warning Signs Are Key

Warning Signs Are Key

Author: Christina Chambers For many years, the first warning sign of impending mania that I could recognize was the repetitive thought that I could fly, a convincing feeling this thought was true, and strong urges to leap off balconies. Thankfully, I knew that I had...

Trial and Error

Trial and Error

Author: Valéry Brosseau It took me years to learn that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. I refused to be a burden on people or a drain on resources. I’ve now learned to fight this way of thinking and remember that I deserve support and I can reach...

My Successful Spending Techniques with Bipolar Disorder

My Successful Spending Techniques with Bipolar Disorder

Author: Margaret Fitzgerald As a youth, I was proud to earn and save money.  I recall being so excited when I had saved $1,000 for the first time.  I was seventeen and I felt as if I was on my way to having a great fund for college.   When I had my first mania,...

My Experiences with Mixed Mood States and How I Handle Them

My Experiences with Mixed Mood States and How I Handle Them

Author: Cassandra Stout If you have bipolar disorder, it’s likely you’ve experienced some symptoms of mania while you’ve suffered depression, or vice versa, and believe me: it’s miserable.   This awful set of feelings is colloquially...

Being a General Officer with Bipolar Disorder

Being a General Officer with Bipolar Disorder

Author: Major General Gregg F. Martin, US Army Retired The Army I joined the US Army in 1975, at age 18.  My motivation for entering the US Military Academy at West Point was first and foremost, to obtain a top-notch education on a full scholarship. Once there, I...

A Year and a Half Episode Free

A Year and a Half Episode Free

Author: Christina Chambers   I distinctly remember the moment my perspective on accepting Bipolar Disorder shifted. It was three years ago, in the midst of a severe depressive episode. I was seriously considering if giving up forever was the best option, which is...

My Creative Process of Bipolar

My Creative Process of Bipolar

Author: Yuval Dinary Some people’s need to create beauty is as fundamental as their need to eat. It’s an instinctual hunger for creation that carries great mysteries and awe along with it. The link between creativity and madness is one that’s been discussed since the...

Unlike Lightning

Unlike Lightning

Author: Sophia Falco I once wrote, sorrow strikes as lightning, but really the bright flash is nonexistent, but really strikes is an understatement. Darkness has permeated into my world like a heavy cloak that I am unable to shake off. If only sorrow really did strike...

Writing to Release Feelings

Writing to Release Feelings

Author: Sasha Kildare My manic episodes arose out of severe depression and were mixed episodes—euphoria and boundless energy interspersed with despair. Although I found myself bursting with ideas, they never led to anything. Today, I’m still bursting with ideas, but I...

Lithium and Dialysis, Part II

Lithium and Dialysis, Part II

Author: Natalia Beiser Please note: These are the experiences of this writer and do not reflect the outcomes of every patient taking Lithium Carbonate. I have taken Lithium Carbonate since I was twenty two years old. I am now approaching my fiftieth birthday and have...

Hypomania and Anemia

Hypomania and Anemia

Author: Kim Barnett I have been struggling with Hypomania for over two months now, and I’m extremely irritated, frustrated and exhausted. For those who do not know, hypomania is defined as a mild form of mania, marked by elation and hyperactivity. Thank God, I’ve...

Through The Tunnel

Through The Tunnel

Author: Joe Landers Greetings readers my name is Joe Landers and I am the author of The Methods of Genius and Madness. My book is on amazon but I used the name Maverick Hunting because although all of the events are true, I changed everyone’s names. I have bipolar...

My First Experience with Mania

My First Experience with Mania

Author: Natalia Beiser I experienced my first full blown manic disorder, as experienced by those with bipolar 1 while in my last year of high school.  Prior to being sent for inpatient treatment, my behavior had been sporadic and I had many angry verbal outbursts. ...

My Story

My Story

Author: Kim Barnett I was born in 1982 in a small city in Ventura County. I had two loving parents, two siblings, and we all lived in a nice house. We were one of the first black families to move into this predominantly white and Hispanic city. As a child this was a...

The Mask

The Mask

Author: Melissa Anderson I started waking up at 2:00 AM. By 4:30, I was completely awake, unable to will my eyes closed anymore. The day before, I began noticing the beginning signs of the excess energy, so it was no surprise to me that I had difficulty sleeping. It...

Mania and Psychosis

Mania and Psychosis

Author: Kim Barnett I have Bipolar I Disorder, which causes manic and depressive episodes cyclically. I’d like to share with you some of my experience with Bipolar Mania, in hopes to explain the difference between insomnia and a Manic Episode, and how this topic has...

Happy or Hypomanic?

Happy or Hypomanic?

Author: Angela McCrimmon “I’d give anything to feel like you for even just one day”…..I smile because I realise they’re trying to compliment me but I also want to shake them and make them comprehend what it’s really like to be me in...

Reflecting Back on My Initial Diagnosis

Reflecting Back on My Initial Diagnosis

Author: Scott Walker On January 1, 2000, I checked myself into a psychiatric hospital in New Zealand. My Mom, my brother and I had met in NZ to celebrate Christmas with relatives and bring in the new millennium. I was living in Japan at the time and hadn’t seen...

When Reckless Spending Doesn’t Seem All That Reckless

When Reckless Spending Doesn’t Seem All That Reckless

Author: Violette Kay My grandma’s neighbor was the first person with bipolar disorder that I ever met. I was a child- I didn’t really know what bipolar disorder was, much less that I would go on to learn that I had it too. My first encounters with the illness took...

How Mental Illness Affects Police Shooting Fatalities

How Mental Illness Affects Police Shooting Fatalities

By: Cassandra Stout In 2015, the Washington Post conducted the first ongoing tally of officer-involved shooting deaths of the mentally ill. Nationwide, at least 25% of people who are shot and killed by police officers suffer from acute mental illness at the time of...

Vigilance

Vigilance

By: Malcolm Kerec A few weeks ago, I had a sharp reminder of how looking after my mental health is a constant battle and that staying well is not a set-and-forget task. After years of relative stability, it’s all too easy to take good mental health for granted....

Managing School While Feeling Depressed or Manic

Managing School While Feeling Depressed or Manic

By: Sydney Batt Students living with Bipolar disorder have challenges not many people see or understand. Features of bipolar disorder make it tough to thrive in school, so it may feel like a lonely battle in the classroom. School stressors can contribute to triggering...

Letter To An Old Friend

Letter To An Old Friend

By: Natalia Beiser Dear Chad, In the early 1990’s, we were such good friends. Outside of my family, I have never cherished anyone more. You supported me through a chilling hypomania and a catastrophic mania. You watched me deteriorate during medication trials and...

Dear Future Manic Self

Dear Future Manic Self

This is Part 5 in a 5-Part Series: “When the World is Too Bright: An Intensive View of Mania from On the Ground”  (Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4 here)  Dear Future Manic Krystal, Mania and you go together like peanut butter and jelly. After five...

Pet Therapy and Mania

Pet Therapy and Mania

This is Part 4 in a 5-Part Series: “When the World is Too Bright: An Intensive View of Mania from On the Ground” (Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 5 here) I moved back home with my mother a few years ago for financial reasons. Now that I’m back in...

Mania #5: What, How, Why

Mania #5: What, How, Why

This is Part 1 in a 5-Part Series: “When the World is Too Bright: An Intensive View of Mania from On the Ground” (Read Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5 here) This is my fifth mania in the nine years since I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder....

Learning to Manage a Manic Mind

Learning to Manage a Manic Mind

If you walked into my house right now, this is what you would see: dishes piling up, laundry in piles waiting to be folded, a dirty floor and me in bed.It’s happening again. I’m having another manic episode. This one, though, is different. Maybe it’s the empty house...

A Journey Through Mania and Back

A Journey Through Mania and Back

My name is Nicole, but most people call me Nic. Mostly because it’s easier and faster to say, but also because Australians are fond of a nickname.I have bipolar disorder Type 1 and am presently recovering from another lengthy manic episode. I could try and put a...

Parenting Made Interesting

Parenting Made Interesting

For parents taking care of a child who has autism, life is an everyday challenge. Sometimes, it’s good. Other times, not so much. But what if you’re a single parent? What if you’re a single parent who has bipolar disorder? What would it be like then?...

You Are a Rock Star

You Are a Rock Star

Hey! Hey you! Yeah, I’m talking to you over there. The one with bipolar disorder. The one that constantly looks down on themselves and wishes they were someone else. The one that wonders what happened in their life to deserve this wretched beast of an illness. I’m...

Learning to Manage a Manic Mind

Learning to Manage a Manic Mind

If you walked into my house right now, this is what you would see: dishes piling up, laundry in piles waiting to be folded, a dirty floor and me in bed.It’s happening again. I’m having another manic episode. This one, though, is different. Maybe it’s the empty house...

Some Days, I Want To Get Off The Ride

Some Days, I Want To Get Off The Ride

Some days, I want to get off the ride. Some days, I just want to be “normal.” I don’t want to deal with unpleasant side effects of medications. I don’t want to endure my lows or spiral out of control during my highs. I don’t want to be crazy. I don’t want to fall...

There’s Nothing Romantic About Mental Illnesses

There’s Nothing Romantic About Mental Illnesses

We have seen a lot of movies that put the spotlight on mental illness. Movies like “Girl, Interrupted,” “Prozac Nation,” “Rain man,” and very recently “Silver Linings Playbook” and “Infinite Polar Bear,” to...

Running Stop Signs

Running Stop Signs

I was driving much too fast. I didn’t see the stop sign. I sailed right through. The stereo was pumping and my hands gripped the wheel. My foot was pushing harder on the accelerator.I came up to a second stop sign and again I saw nothing. I pushed on the pedal to go...

Mania and Marriage: Coping With Hypersexuality

Mania and Marriage: Coping With Hypersexuality

Have you ever cheated on your best friend? Have you ever betrayed the trust of someone you cared about more deeply than yourself? How did it feel? For me, it felt like my entire world collapsed around me. My husband — my best friend — no longer trusts me. I broke my...

Life After Mania: Picking Up the Pieces

Life After Mania: Picking Up the Pieces

Several years ago, before I was diagnosed, during a particularly difficult bout of psychosis I believed I was a prophet receiving messages from God. I went days at a time without sleep, diligently documenting everything I heard, scribbling frantically and filling up...

I Wish You Knew How It Felt

I Wish You Knew How It Felt

Mania You wake up after only four hours asleep, but that’s ok, you feel fine. Today is going to be a great day, a productive day, one of the best days of your life. You get in the shower and sing every song you know, and keep singing as you dress up and do your...

Invasion of the Body Snatchers – Coping with my Wife’s Mania

Invasion of the Body Snatchers – Coping with my Wife’s Mania

Sometimes the hardest part about being married to someone with bipolar disorder is trying to reconcile the actions of the illness from the actions of the person. When you live with someone long enough you get to know them pretty well.  You become comfortable...

Mania: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Mania: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

I consider mania to be the forgotten orphan of the two poles of bipolar disorder – with depression being the most discussed. Depression gets all the attention, all the talk, all the focus and mania is left out in the cold. On the International Bipolar Foundation’s...

My Manic Summer: Take 2

My Manic Summer: Take 2

It seems that my last blog post was somewhat prophetic. I am currently sitting on a bed, in a psychiatric hospital, recovering from my second psychotic manic episode. This episode evolved much like the last did, with me becoming so elevated that I lost insight...

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