Author: Nicholas A Duran, LMHC I want to run through the city. Then I want to lie down in the street. I’m sitting in the park, crying. I’m fighting for my life. One minute we’re celebrating our anniversary— I’m happy, in love, present. The next morning I wake up to...
Author: Lisa MacDonald There have been times when my mind felt like it was moving a thousand miles an hour while my emotions were sinking into darkness. My body was restless, yet my thoughts were filled with despair. I couldn’t sleep. My thoughts raced uncontrollably,...
Author: Melissa Howard As spring is upon us, we’re welcomed into longer, brighter days—a hopeful reminder that summer is just around the corner. For many, this seasonal shift brings renewed energy and optimism. But for those living with bipolar disorder, the...
Author: Anonymous Anosognosia is a neurological condition in which a person is unable to recognize their own illness. It is often misunderstood as denial or resistance, but it is neither. It reflects impaired awareness caused by changes in brain function, and it is...
Author: Nicholas Duran, LMHC Bipolar disorder is often misdiagnosed. First it’s depression. Then anxiety. Maybe ADHD. Perhaps you’re prescribed an antidepressant, and before long you find yourself spiraling somewhere you never expected—sometimes even landing in the...
Author: Monica Mason About five years ago, I was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF) and Depression. I left my nursing job to go ‘get well.’ I was being treated with Estrogen and Progesterone for the POF, and with Celexa then Cipralex for the depression....
Author: Melissa Howard As the clocks spring forward this month, many people notice little more than a mild inconvenience — a slightly earlier morning, a moment of grogginess. For individuals living with bipolar disorder, however, even a one-hour shift in circadian...
Author: Jillian LaFrance, PhD When people hear the term bipolar disorder, many immediately think of mood swings. It is a phrase that is often used casually and inaccurately, sometimes as a shorthand for normal emotional ups and downs. For those who live with the...
Author: Dr. Jillian LaFrance True crime, dramatic television shows, and sensational headlines have turned mental illness into a familiar storytelling plot: someone with a diagnosis snaps, and chaos follows. For people with bipolar disorder, this narrative is...
Author: Matthew Palmieri Coming to Terms Over the last few years of stability, I’ve found myself feeling both peaceful and a little heartbroken. Peaceful because I’ve finally accepted my diagnosis. Heartbroken because I spent so many years fighting it. Every time I’d...
Author: Mihali Mqushulu Ahhhhhh. The roaring 20s. You’re a young women stepping into what most might consider: your prime! The world is your playground, with endless possibilities and iridescent dreams that are coming to life right in front of you. You are in your...
Dear world, I used to covet you – wanting all of you all at once (I was so sick) Why? I cannot keep carrying you – why do they keep expecting me to? I’m not so sick (but I’ll always be) I will never forget the times we spent fumbling through...
Author: Minnie Almader Trigger warning: This content contains a description of a near accidental drowning. For some people a trigger can affect them by shutting down or feeling numb. Others may feel a lot of anxiety in their body. The body and mind work together but...
Author: Nicholas A. Duran, LMHC When I’m depressed, most people don’t notice. I still work. I still show up. I’ve presented choreography on stage, supported my therapy clients, attended meetings. But beneath the surface, it’s fog. Thick and impenetrable. A barrier...
Author: Matthew Jackman I was born in 1990 into a lineage marked by intergenerational hardship, stretching from convict resettlement in England to the Irish potato famine. These histories of suffering and endurance shaped the soil into which I was born in Australia....
Author: Matthew Palmieri Bipolar disorder leaves a trail of collateral damage—during both depression and mania. From the outside looking in, it must be confusing. It can feel like I’ve been temporarily abducted, replaced by a version of myself that has no reason, no...
Author: Mihali Mqushulu Imagine this: you’re fresh from your psychiatrist office, still placing the plaguing thoughts in your mind that confirm a new life and identity — you have been diagnosed with manic depression. A few things then cognitively jump at you: Am I...
Author: Nicholas A. Duran, LMHC As a queer Mexican American therapist, former professional dancer, and researcher, I’ve always been fascinated by the ways art and mental health intertwine. Before becoming a counselor, I earned an MFA in dance, where I learned that...
Author: Tom Luker I used to find joy in the cracks of the world, In shadows that danced, in leaves as they twirled. A puddle was poetry, rain sang in rhyme, Each moment a treasure, unmeasured by time. Back then, the wind whispered secrets to me, The stars told me...
Author: Maria Mainelli Atlanta-based comedian Maria Mainelli turns the ups and downs of bipolar 1 into sharp, honest, and hilarious storytelling. In this Q&A, she shares how her diagnosis shaped her creativity, her comedy, and her outlook on what it means to be...
Author: Matthew Palmieri There’s nothing quite like the rush of a manic episode—the clarity, the boundless energy, the feeling of being untouchable. Ideas come faster than I can process them. Sleep becomes optional. Music hits differently. The world feels like it’s...
Author: Major General Gregg Martin, US Army (Retired), PhD, with his wife Maggie and son Phil In my book, Bipolar General: My Forever War with Mental Illness, I capture “Family Perspectives” in the Appendix. My wife Maggie and our three sons explain that they just...
Author: Jillian LaFrance, PhD I have Bipolar II disorder. On paper, I look like someone who has it all together: multiple degrees, a full-time career, a part-time teaching position, and a daughter I’m raising on my own. Most days, I keep up with everything. I meet...
Author: Kimberly Pratt I exit my car and shut the door. I’m in the San Francisco Bay Area and it’s hot outside. I glance ahead and see a sign that indicates a 12-step meeting. That’s the space, I’m here, that’s where I need to go. But I’m different. I’m not just an...
Author: Lexie Manion I have been in remission from bipolar disorder for six years now. The last major mood episodes I experienced due to bipolar disorder were a depressive episode a few years ago and a hypomanic episode a year ago. It’s been important for me to stay...
Poem Author: Tom Luker The Enemy Between My Ears The enemy between my ears has no face, A shadow that lingers, a ghost taking space. It whispers in echoes too quiet to trace, Yet somehow, it’s louder than all I embrace. An identity unknown, yet it knows...
Author: Matthew Palmieri When I look back on my past behavior—especially during manic or depressive episodes—it’s hard not to feel shame or embarrassment. Even after some recovery and ongoing acceptance, there are moments I still cringe over. As much as I’ve accepted...
Author: Melissa Howard Opening up conversations about mental health as a family can feel daunting, especially when it involves complex conditions like bipolar disorder. Yet, as my spouse’s reflections reveal, beginning the conversations early and creating openness can...
Author: Melissa Howard Living with bipolar disorder (BD) creates many unknowns—variables that shape my life in ways that those without a mental illness may never have to consider. BD doesn’t just affect my day-to-day; it impacts my entire family. Every decision I make...
Author: Jillian LaFrance PhD Bipolar disorder is characterized by dramatic mood, energy, and activity level shifts, which manifest as mania or hypomania (elevated mood) and depression (lowered mood), is associated with neurotransmitter imbalances (serotonin,...
Author: Jamie Hopkins As is the same with so many varsity athletes, training and competing takes up the majority of my time and energy, but more importantly, my passion and purpose. So, when I found myself hospitalized with a mixed episode while in the midst of...
Author: Charles Kelly I sometimes found myself frustrated at work, looking for temporary escapes from the modern madness of life. I tried stress balls and taking walks on my lunch break, although these had minimal effects on me. I remember reading something...
Celebrating Lisa’s Strength 💪 What am I most proud of on my bipolar journey? I’m a survivor. Right now, in this moment of time and place, I am stable. I am a productive member of society. I take my meds and attend group and individual therapy sessions. I...
Celebrating Paul’s Strength 💪 My name is Paul English. I studied computer science and music in college and then went on in a career of entrepreneurship. I have started and sold six companies to date (including Kayak.com) and have also started five...
Celebrating Tom’s Strength 💪 When I experienced my first manic episode, I didn’t see it coming. I don’t think many people do. I had been dealing with a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder since I was a teenager and had never even considered I might be...
Celebrating Subrina’s Strength 💪 10/26/2006. A date I will never forget. The date that didn’t solve my problems. Just a date to reveal the truth, The beginning of my bipolar journey. Up. Down. Black. White. Courageous, yet terrified. Determined,...
Celebrating Charles’s Strength💪 What makes me most proud of my journey is learning to live a happy and fulfilling life despite the many challenges of bipolar disorder. Over time, I have discovered that celebrating small victories, such as going to work, taking...
Celebrating TK’s Strength 💪 I was almost finished with graduate school when I was struck down with a bipolar 2 depression and was unable to complete my degree. I felt for so long that I had failed. I defined myself as a failure. Then, just the other day,...
Celebrating Chivo Cycle’s Strength 💪 Chivo Cycle isn’t just a studio; it’s a testament to the power of resilience and the transformative impact of fitness. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder since 2009, I discovered the incredible benefits of...
Author: Charles Kelly Before my manic episode, I was completely unaware of how I came off to others. My ego controlled every part of my life. If something did not go my way, I would defend my position, even when I knew I was wrong. Classmates, coworkers, and...
Author: Che’ Lang When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I thought it was safe to assume there were only two sides of this medical condition that I would have to manage; mania and depression. Hypomania was also commonly depicted by my psychiatrist,...
Author: Conrad Garrison There was no doubt in my mind that I had discovered the key to the universe: we are all connected, there is a oneness, and that is all that matters. It was the enlightenment spiritual leaders speak of—a higher state of being, the lifting...
Author: Ricardo Pavão My first manic episode was about 4 years ago, and now I understand that before that I also had long periods of depression. I can say that experiencing mania was a really tough time. I was hospitalized 4 times, basically once every year,...
Author: Sam Bowman For adults, exercise and socialization may be difficult enough propositions on their own; but for aging adults with bipolar disorder, there are times when maintaining a regular, active schedule may seem downright impossible. Sure, it’s easy...
Author: Sam Bowman For all of us, energy is a limited resource at the best of times. We only have so much capacity to do everything we need in a day – and unfortunately, mental illness can consume most of it. With depression, even the most simple of tasks can...
Author: Birdie Thorn To understand the appeal of Hypomania/mania, you must understand the dread of depression. Bipolar depression is much more than occasional bouts of the blues. It can feel as though you are stuck in the deepest parts of your brain while your...
By Melinda Goedeke I laugh sarcastically every time I watch a commercial about medication for the treatment of bipolar disorder. Unkempt young men and women are shown in dark, depressing places with vacuous eyes and downtrodden faces until they take the miracle...
Author: Mallory Bockelman When I race, I’m MetaMal. Meta meaning more, above, and beyond The race begins easy. Less sleep, more thoughts and energy. Beginning slowly but always building Becoming a force of ideas never ending This race is not your...
Author: Phil Cibicki Dedicated to Ian & Annie, who would most understand what I’m talking about here. Thanks for the time I had with both of you and for showing me how to listen, to be kind, and to have an open mind. I can’t tell which drops come from my tears...
Author: Ambika Paul Mania is your favorite song on repeat, an explosion of energy that brews in your mind with saturated ideas all coming at you in a single shot. Gradually consuming your whole body. Mania always feels like a creative journey for me but also...
