After being diagnosed at the age of 23, my life was falling apart. I was kicked out of college, lost my girlfriend of three years, and just attended a medical convention in which I felt like an imposter. Even worse, I began to unravel in and out of the ER, with doctors looking at me, saying it was anxiety. Until I was hospitalized for 2 weeks and found great doctors who took care of me and guided me through the most confusing time of my life. It even got so bad to the point where I started to have psychotic features, and stuff felt like it was all connecting and that I knew way too much.

However, through trials and tribulations, I found that these traumas did not only have the power to break me but also had the power to liberate and enlighten me. I needed to address my underlying mood disorder that was obvious to my girlfriend but no one else because, to outsiders, it looks as if everything is kosher when it is not. So, one thing that I am proud of is the fact that I accepted that I had a psychiatric disorder. I took help such as medication and, more importantly, always listened to my doctor with his expertise. I never condemned or judged; instead, I worked toward a solution in therapy, condemning and judging my actions positively.

Through the work of my doctor and therapist, I could repair the broken life I used to call mine. I was able to go back to school and obtain my degree with significantly better grades than I was getting before the manic episode, reignite the once broken relationship with my girlfriend, and become a more present boyfriend. I hopefully aspire to begin a master’s program excited about the education rather than focusing on competing and looking smart. More importantly, I am at peace with who I am; no one can take that from me.

When I changed my perception of the world around me, my life began to fall into place as needed. Because I was always working against myself and for me, I just needed to get out of my own way. My focus before was competition and getting a bigger paycheck. Now, I aspire to have a job that has a genuine rationale behind it and provides long-lasting liberation. This is why I honestly believe I am here not to have a power-hungry or big-paying job but for authentic and long-lasting liberation for what I am here to do.

Keep your head held high because I believe that everybody can change their life, Bipolar diagnosis or not. So just know that we may not be exactly where we want to be, although we will get there; I believe that fighting against it, like not taking medication, seeing a therapist, and not finding outlets that soothe yourself, is not a step in the right direction.