In the early stages of my illness, I spent years living with a constant feeling of desperation. It was so overwhelming that it clouded my judgment and made it impossible to see any hope for a brighter future. Waking up each day, overwhelmed and filled with emotions I didn’t know how to handle, became my everyday reality. I was plagued by the intrusive thought that no matter what I did, I couldn’t turn my life around.

I lost the will to change, because my clouded mind convinced me that things would never get better. And I believed it. It was impossible for me to picture myself in the future, living the life I wanted. I couldn’t imagine ever having a stable job again. And as for having healthy, close relationships where I didn’t feel like a burden to others—that felt completely out of reach.

In short, my actions were aimless, and my pessimistic, short-sighted outlook on life limited both who I was and who I could become.

But the greatest victory in my journey was the moment I realized that despair didn’t have to define the rest of my life. I understood that I could overcome it and live the purposeful life I had always dreamed of. From that day on, I stopped defining myself by my illness and started learning to live alongside it. The freedom and clarity I gained from that realization are hard to put into words. Even now, just thinking about that moment brings tears to my eyes.

Suddenly, I had clear goals, and I knew I could achieve them. I became certain that I could work at any job I wanted, perform well, and enjoy myself in the process. I realized that having bipolar disorder wasn’t a barrier to building amazing, close relationships. Most of these changes were the result of ongoing treatment and, most importantly, changing the way I related to the illness.

I’ve been stable for a while now, and I feel incredibly proud of that. I still remember talking to people who had lived with this illness for 20, even 40 years, and I couldn’t understand how they managed to cope when I was struggling so much, year after year. Now, I understand. It’s not about how much time passes; it’s about your discipline, your treatment, and your willingness to fight for the life you deserve.

I remember the year I was diagnosed clearly. There’s no “right” way to feel at this moment. Everyone’s journey with this illness is different. In my case, it took over a year to fully accept my diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder. So, don’t put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way—just make sure you seek medical support as soon as possible. Talk to a therapist or psychiatrist to start your treatment.

From my experience, the key to managing this illness is a combination of consistent treatment and lifestyle changes. Don’t expect immediate results; it can take time to find the right approach. Be patient, and in the meantime, work on improving your daily habits and mindset.

You don’t have to go through this alone. Many people are in your shoes, and we are here to support each other. Reach out to your therapist, but also consider opening up to a friend, family member, or an online community.

Lastly, remember to stay aware of all symptoms—both highs and lows. Ignoring manic or hypomanic signs, like insomnia or impulsivity, can have serious consequences. Take care of yourself in every sense—you deserve it.