I have loved writing, for as long as I can remember. I have written during many of my happiest moments in my life and of course during some of the toughest times as well. Within just the last couple of weeks, my husband’s and my world turned upside down. I’ve been stable for so long, and yet what we are presently going through has tested me and has tried to push me to my limit.
Have you heard someone say your life can literally change in a moment’s time? I never thought, not in a million years, that I would say this or be facing this alongside my husband. Within just 2 short weeks my husband and I are facing homelessness. I have never been so scared in my entire life. I’ve overcome so much, yet we feel like we’re treading water.
Do I feel like we’re sinking? Yes, but I also know that stress plays a major role in affecting our emotions, how we perceive reality, and can make things appear to be hopeless when it is so dark. It’s like we’re trying to find the means to light the candle in the dark room, so we can move around and do what we need to do to press on, and not let this bend or break me!
A lot of days I spend crying between my doctors’ appointments, and doing all we need to do to locate alternative housing, while my husband is looking daily for a job. I have an inner conversation with myself, I say on one hand, “Natalie, there is no light, how are we going to make our way through this bleak situation?” On the other hand I know that I’m a fighter and a survivor. I’ve beat the odds before when I’ve dealt with my mental health, my cancer, and fighting for treatments for my physical health. We will persevere, and come through this.
Life is a crazy mixed up puzzle that does not always fit together. Sometimes the pieces go missing, sometimes they are broken and sometimes a bigger, more beautiful picture lies underneath the rubble of the broken fragments! God’s purpose is bigger than anything I can imagine, no matter how hard I cry. God sees the bigger picture.
A lot of times when I’ve hit rock bottom, my release and my own form of therapy is my poetry, that I turn to help me deal with how I am feeling inside. So I’d like to share with you another two of my poems. I hope they encourage you and soothe your soul if you are weary because of your depression and or circumstances that seem hopeless! God has given me a gift of writing, of putting my feelings to paper, I hope your weary souls find solace in these words!
She sits on the edge of her bed, as the tears roll down her cheeks, her bags are packed, she does not know what tomorrow will bring, where will she lay her head? Her husband’s words soothe her heart, he gently wipes the tears way. She knows her Lord has carried her before, does He hear her now? Does he hear their pleas?
She feels like the weary traveler on this road called life. She says I’ve had my share of doubts, my questions and my pain has been immense, yet I did not cave, when the walls closed in, I pressed on, I fought the good fight! I’m just a weary traveler, traveling through the night, as the sun sets, as the world gets ready to close their eyes, my tears sting my eyes. My heart feels, feels for everyone, who has walked this road, for those who have come before me and those who will follow. She packs her bags, it’s full of her pain, it’s full of loss, she fights the fight, she fights the thoughts. She knows God has not abandoned his child, but the fear tries to blind her mind from seeing the truth! God’s love has carried her before, and it is made to outlast!
She is just a weary traveler on this road called life, searching for where she is meant to stay. She feels lonely, yet she is not alone! A gentle voice is heard in the distance, it’s getting closer now. It’s her Lord with an outstretched hand, he welcomes her in, lay down your bags, let go of this burden you’ve been carrying. Let me carry it the rest of the way!
Weary traveler, come find rest in me! Weary traveler, I call you by name, child that’s what you are to me! I know things have been tough, I know your tears are bitter. I know each fear you try to hide behind closed doors! You want rest for this body, a place to put your weary head! But I’ll give you more than rest for your mind and body, I’ll give you rest for your soul, I’ll restore you to being whole!
I hope that encouraged you, may you find rest, may your continue to press on during your dark times! The light is coming, times may seem hopeless, but there is always HOPE! Cling to that hope! We each have it inside of us to rise above!
Dark as night
Light that pierces through the darkness
Hope, a fragile thread
Cling to hope, hold ever so tight, no matter what tries to pull you apart!
So much tried to take our eyes off the prize
I hear the darkness at times, it tries to speak, it tries to say, the darkness is here to stay, and well I have news
Good always wins over evil, light pierces the darkest of nights
Hope is not always a roaring Lion
A lot of times hope speaks in the still small voice and whispers to our souls
Hope is what keeps us going, for a better and brighter future!