Family and Friends Who Mean Well But Really Have No Clue

 We’ve all heard it before, or something similar, “This too shall pass”. “Just puts your big girl panties on”. “You’ve been here before, you can do it again”. 

While our loved ones mean well, in the throes of depression, these are sometimes the absolute worst things to say to someone living in what seems to be the depths of doom. Sometimes saying nothing, is the best support one can offer. A silent hug, a nod of the head, a kind smile does wonders for someone who feels like they have nothing to offer but a terrible burden to those they love. 

Like clockwork, daylight savings messed with my moods, I quickly swing from ok to not well at all. I struggle with explaining my feelings to those who are either quick to embrace me, excuse me of “playing the victim yet again, or changing the subject all together. I realize that the latter is a distraction technique used by well meaning loved ones who have no idea how to deal with my ever increasing mood swings. The amount of pressure I put on my family is palpable. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that a lot of the reason we try to isolate is because of the tremendous amount of guilt we feel by letting our family down once again, whether this is actually true, or just a lie or disease tries to trick us into believing. I encourage loved ones and care givers to find support systems for yourselves. 

This battle takes its toll on you as well, and you are often the silent victim. Without you, we would be lost. With much love and gratitude I thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

 

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