Author: Camelia Porrata

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in November 2022. Before the diagnosis, I used to self-medicate with alcohol and medical cannabis. After being diagnosed, I continued drinking almost every day and mixed it with medication at the same time. This would either trigger mania, depression, or both. Sometimes I would experience an extremely elevated mood, and the subsequent crash was terrible.

My worst depression was in September 2023 and lasted for two months. I was having trouble at work and in my personal life. At one point, I was even unable to speak clearly, stuttering a lot. I quit alcohol for the first time during that depression, but I stopped taking some of my medications because I felt better, which meant I was not following my doctor’s instructions. After that depressive episode, I became hypomanic and then manic.

During the mania and afterward, I continued not drinking. However, I filed for divorce two months later in February 2024, and I quickly started to drink again. Every morning after drinking the night before, I woke up depressed. I started to self-medicate again by taking a higher dosage of my prescribed medications. This made me feel numb, and I almost went unconscious one time in the pharmacy when I went to pick up my medication. That same week, my father told me: “You’re going to ruin your life if you keep drinking.”

I felt hopeless in July 2024; I hit rock-bottom. But my mother took me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting at the end of the week, on July 8th, 2024. Since that day, I have been sober.

My bipolar medications are now working well, and all that is thanks to being sober. I continue to feel my emotions very deeply sometimes, but I have not been depressed since 2024. I strongly encourage anyone with Bipolar Disorder to try to stop drinking. For me, it has been the best decision and major accomplishment I have made in my life.