Guys Supporting Guy Friends

Often I hear of women getting together with one or more friends to do things to support one person and/or another. Some examples are getting a manicure, meeting for coffee, or going to a movie. Sadly this isn’t as common in guys doing things together with their buddies from a place of support. Sure a lot of guys hang out with each other. However I strongly feel that guys supporting other guys when required is something that is greatly beneficial and needed. I’d like to see much more of this and will share some of my experience and ideas below. 

Meet for a drink/coffee

A few years ago a friend of mine disclosed to me that a good friend of hers was just released from the hospital after having a manic episode. She asked if I’d be willing to meet him for a drink to chat. I did just that and really enjoyed supporting him in that capacity. He had a ton of questions for me about my bipolar disorder experience, and I had many for him about his time in the hospital and adjusting to life after being released. When I was in a psychiatric hospital in Vancouver after having a manic episode, that hospital had an excellent volunteer program. A man from the community also diagnosed with bipolar disorder came to the hospital and took me out for coffee across the street. It was great to spend time talking with someone about my mental health who  was not a nurse, doctor or psychiatrist.

Do something active together

At times in my past when I have been depressed, some good guy friends of mine have got me out to go mountain biking and/or hiking. I truly enjoy these activities. Even though I wasn’t always the most talkative while doing the activity, looking back it really helped me a lot.  

Send random texts

I have personally done this with a guy friend who was going through a very challenging time. The texts would be short and at a random time of the day. Use whatever words resonate with your buddy the most. 

Go see a band/go to an event 

Depending on where you live there are most likely some events that you and a buddy could go to together. It could be some type of live music, a festival, or a special event like TED. Going to something that you’re both interested in lets the person requiring support have fun and connect with you at the same time. 

Have a phone call

Even though nearly everyone has a cell phone nowadays, many guys that I know rarely have longer than a one minute conversation with their buddies. The calls are normally logistics-related. I’ve both called and been the recipient of phone calls from guy friends from a place of support. Getting the call was uplifting and really meant a lot knowing that a guy friend cared that much to call. Phoning someone and supporting them let them know that I wanted to do what I could to assist them.

The above are ideas based on my experiences. 

What other things have you done to assist a guy friend of yours requiring support?

Read more of Scott’s blog posts for IBPF here or visit his personal blog.

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