“We don’t have anything in common” my friend lamented, “sometimes I wonder why we even stay together.”
As I listened I absently glanced at our white patio doors with it’s 3 hinges. “Well” I shared with sudden inspiration “it only takes three hinges to hold a door open.”
I then shared the hinges needed in the marriage of one of my relatives after bipolar illness tore them apart resulting in divorce. Within two years a good therapist helped them to remarry. He helped then see that they really did still love each other and helped them accept what it would take in order to make their marriage work.
Their four hinges were:
1. Their weekly date— without fail
2. Personal Space- he needs personal space to retreat to whenever he starts getting stressed (3 rooms in the basement)
3. Their shared belief in God and decision to be active in their church
4. Family calendar scheduling every week (They both do better with a solid schedule, especially with their four children)
Our conversation then turned to hinges in my friend’s marriage. She decided to ponder and prayer so she could discover the hinges that could make their marriage work.
After all, it doesn’t take 11 hinges to hold an open door to a relationship. Sometimes it only takes three.