During my bouts with depression I found it nearly impossible to feel grateful. I made lists of things I should be grateful for but the feeling of gratitude didn’t reach my heart. It was a miserable way to live since true gratitude brings me a deep, satisfying feeling that brings peace to my sole.
During times of “normalcy” I play games with myself to keep the “gratitude juices” going. I think of 5 things to be grateful for when I get in my car, 5 things when I check my schedule, 5 things before meals, 5 things during my morning and evening prayers. There are times however, when I find myself praying “I want to be thankful for the mess in the house…for the misunderstanding I am having with my son…for how overwhelmed I feel…”
It is surprising, but I actually feel that God accepts my “want to’s” as much as the “I’m thankful for.” I am also amazed at how much better I feel after acknowledging my weaknesses as well as my strengths.