When I entered into the world of Bipolar Advocacy, I never really understood what that meant for me or my future. Sure, I had dreams, but they were much happier than what my life sometimes turns out to be.
I’m bipolar, I have bipolar, I struggle with bipolar, I suffer from bipolar …
No matter how you word it or how you say it, the end result is always the same. I have a chemical imbalance in my brain that causes my moods to shift from high to low at any given moment. This is something about me that will never change. There is no cure. It is what it is.
But I’m okay with that. I’m fine with the fact that I have an illness. Many people have illnesses. Unfortunately, mine just happens to be stigmatized to all hell.
Yet somehow I got this crazy idea that I was going to stand against the stigma. I was going to promote awareness. I was going to educate the world by the mere power of my own experiences. And that’s a big deal!
Still, there are these days where I just wish I could crawl back into my bipolar cave and hide from the world. I’m like Daniel Radcliffe who will always be known as Harry Potter, except I’ll always be known as that chick with bipolar. I’ll always be tied to multitudes of websites about bipolar. And when people think of me they’ll think of that one book I wrote about bipolar.
Most days, I’m okay with this too. But sometimes … oh sometimes … Sometimes I wish I could just write a story about fairies and run a website about being a mom and have an illness like diabetes and be known for my killer ninja skillz (which are currently pending some extensive training).
But hey, it’s all good. I chose this. And the thing is, I do stand against stigma, I do promote awareness, and I do educate the world by the sheer magnitude of my own personal experiences. And if that means I have to be KNOWN for being bipolar … well then, the Harry Potter of Bipolar I will be!!!