What belief about yourself has changed the most since your diagnosis?
I started therapy at 10, and was in wilderness/residential/therapeutic boarding school for almost 2 years. People told me I wouldn’t be successful because of my mental illness, and between that and the stigma towards mental illness, especially those that are less “glamorous” and so stigmatized, I felt ashamed and felt like no one would ever want to be around me.
I never thought that I would live a “normal” life. Now I am following my childhood dream of being an aerospace engineer, happily married, and am taking care of myself every day. I’ve made incredible, strong friendships with people who accept every part of me. I am so grateful that I am still here today and my mindset has shifted. Anyone who doesn’t accept all of me is someone I don’t want around. I know that I can be successful and loved.
What daily practice helps you feel emotionally supported?
Finding time in my busy day for myself to be present. I work a demanding job as an engineer with long, busy days and it can get overwhelming at times. Often the first thing to go for me is my routine and sleep. I have built a routine at home to be consistent with my life when I get home from the office. This includes a warm shower, reading a book, making sure to take my medicine, and watching some of my favorite shows. I have also prioritized myself at work which is so important and often overlooked – the first 30 minutes of my day is blocked out solely for me to have a slow morning; and I always make sure to take a lunch break. As an introvert I spend a lot of time connecting with myself but I love connecting with others just as much and schedule time to spend with friends and get out of the house and do something fun which has given me so many new experiences.
What is something you wish someone had told you earlier in your journey?
Having bipolar is not shameful. I wish someone told me I’m not a bad person for having a mental illness, because you are not a bad person. Bipolar is not all that I am, and progress takes patience. Because of my experiences in and out of treatment, it took me a little while to catch up in different places in life like school and socially. It is okay to take your time with things!
I wish I knew that bipolar would shape so much of who I am as a person which is not a bad thing. I have used my experiences in treatment and life to help uplift others and have become so kind and compassionate and always am caring for others. I am resilient, I am creative, I have a heightened empathy for people, I am more proactive about taking care of myself.
What does balance look like for you at this stage of life?
Finding balance in my life is a constant process. I am early on in my career, so I have built an organization system and boundaries with work while being able to contribute meaningfully and grow my skillset. I intentionally divide my non-work time between family, friends, and myself, making sure to prioritize positive relationships, and having nights to myself that I can enjoy a book or my favorite show, and carving out time during the week for my favorite hobbies like pottery, choir, and orchestra. I try to recognize what matters most to me now and focus on the present, staying grounded and managing my stress and leaning on my community when I need to, and adjusting my course to avoid burnout as needed.
