Faces of Hope and Recovery
Featured Story
Jaka
Describe Something I`m Proud of in My Journey:
When I think about my journey and what it took to get from then to now, I feel a mix of emotions. Thinking about my hypomanic endeavors usually brings a smile to my face, and positive vibes engulf me. Unfortunately, they were followed by severe manias every time, and that wasn’t funny anymore. I know there were at least ten of them because that’s how many times I was taken to the hospital. There began the downfalls.
Depression is anything but positive and fun. If you manage to get through it, though, you know that you’ve got a fighting chance. It was during my third or fourth depression that I found out I have an immense will to live. I was at the bottom. And by bottom, I mean the lowest point I’ve ever reached. It wasn’t painful; it was just full of nothingness, concentrated in a small space. I felt like I was sitting in a small empty box, and nothing mattered anymore. At that moment, my thinking process was reduced to two basic options: Fight or flight. I could gather the shards of my remaining strength and try to take control of the situation. I didn’t have much energy to do that, but at moments like that, even a small, almost insignificant move can make an impact. It was either that or game over. No brainer, I agree, but those two options were equally attractive to me at that point in time. If you’re reading this, you already know that I decided to fight the beast. Not only did I fight it, I won! I was bruised and scarred from the battle, but I lived to tell the story.
More battles followed, more manias, more hospitalizations, more depressions. People came into my life, and people went away. Years flew by. Everything was changing. Almost everything. The fire of life burning in me since that day has never been extinguished. I have the upper hand now. I know that the darkness eventually ends. Everything passes. When you realize that, life becomes easier. Severe manias end. The darkest depressions end. That’s the nature of things. Ends aren’t necessarily bad for you. Usually, one process has to end for another to begin. I had to gaze into the eternal abyss to realize I wanted to live, and I’m glad I made the right choice.
Message for those who are Newly Diagnosed:
When you get the diagnosis, it could feel like a rug is being pulled out from under your feet. You’re bipolar. You have a chronic illness. You have a mental disease. You will never be normal again. Stop right there. Let me tell you something. Bipolar disorder is one of the best things that happened to me. It took me more than a decade and a journey to hell and back to get to this point, but now I’m here, and today, I wouldn’t swap my condition with anything. Why? Because I wouldn’t be the person I am today without it. There were rough times. Times when I experienced emotions in all their glory. I’ve seen divine heights and infinite lows. I wanted to live my life to the fullest, and I wanted to end it. I would’ve never experienced that if I hadn’t been bipolar. You can get out of the grasp of the beast and live your life however you choose. Bipolar disorder will probably be your companion until the end of your days. So stop fighting it and start coexisting. I know you can do it.
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More Faces of Hope and Recovery
Sach
Describe Something I`m Proud of in My Journey: Exercising gratitude in the face of adversity is something I am proud of. During my first and only major manic episode, I was held in a psychiatric ward for 2 weeks. Ecstasy enveloped me, but after that, I entered a...
Jackie
Describe Something I`m Proud of in My Journey: I am most proud of my strength, resilience, and determination. My journey with bipolar has not been easy, but I am so proud of the person I am today and the life I have created for myself. I got my diagnosis in April of...
Camelia
Something I`m Proud of In My Journey: At first, when I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder Type 1 back in 2022, I did not accept the mental disorder and did not take my medications as the doctor instructed. It was a huge mistake. This erratic behavior led me to...
Josh
Something I am Proud of in My Journey: I have experienced two major manic episodes the past few years. During both episodes I experienced hallucinations, lost control of my mind and body, and was so scared that I had to seek professional medical help. I am proud that...
Jocelyn
Something I am Proud of in My Journey: My greatest feat was going to the hospital. Both times I made the personal decision to go and it was also the scariest one. Both times were during my college years. The first time was during the holidays. I remember thinking I...
Trin
Something I am Proud of in My Journey: I am most proud of my resilience in my mental health journey. After a few hospitalizations, 4 years of highs and lows, 6 psychiatrists, 3 psychologists, 15-20 medication changes, 12 hours of evaluations, 10 diagnoses I am STILL...
Thomas
Something I am Proud of in My Journey: At 32, I was hospitalized during my first full-blown manic episode, a moment that drastically shifted my understanding of myself and my mental health. Up until that point, I had been living with a diagnosis of major depressive...
Rachel
Something I am Proud of in My Journey: This post discusses sensitive topics related to suicide and self-harm. Please read with care and reach out for support if needed. I’m actually proud of my bipolar Disorder. It’s made me strong and who I am today. I haven’t self...
Nyla
Something I am Proud of in My Journey: Existing in a world where several days are seemingly impossible to conquer, there is optimism in light... For me light stems from gratitude, which is what I am most proud to have practiced throughout my Bipolar journey. The...
Rachel
Something I am Proud of in My Journey: If I can be proud of myself for one major thing, it would be my resilience in looking for treatments and help throughout my mental health journey. It has not been easy. I was diagnosed with a bipolar disorder when I was 19 years...
Paul
Something I am Proud of in My Journey: I experienced many years of mental illness symptoms, in and out of episodes of depression and elation, which meant that I faced an uncertain future - one without stability and no guarantee of personal safety. However, resilience...
Sidney
Something I am Proud of in My Journey: Getting diagnosed at the age of 14 wasn't easy. Being told that my normal wasn’t “normal” went as well as you could think. The root of my denial was being afraid of the stigma that came with the disorder. I didn’t think that I...
Shawn
Something I am Proud of in My Journey: The proudest moments of my Bipolar journey were acceptance/opening up, getting back up from the lows, and being able to spread my wings. One of the hardest obstacles to overcome was accepting my inherent flaws. Coming from an...
Ben
Something I am Proud of in My Journey: The part of my journey with Bipolar Disorder that I am the most proud of is how far I have come since my diagnosis. Looking back it is clear to me now that I have always suffered from bipolar disorder. I played sports from the...
Leshondra
Something I am Proud of in My Journey: Something I'm proud of is beating the negative stereotypes of taking medication for a mental illness and being diagnosed. My family is considered headstrong so mental health was brushed aside sometimes. Leading up to my diagnosis...
Samantha
Something I am Proud of in My Journey: Transitioning into entrepreneurship at 30, I was concerned that sharing my personal journey might affect how my clients view me. However, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the outpouring of support and the admiration from those...
Jen
Something I am Proud of in My Journey: I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in 2020, but my psychiatrist told me that I could have already had it in my teens. I live in a society where mental health is considered a taboo, enveloped with stigma that further challenges...
Beatriz
Something I am Proud of in My Journey: I have been diagnosed with Bipolar 2 since 2005, even though living with it hasn’t been easy, I fulfilled my dream of becoming a professional book writer(7 books already published),a motivational speaker,a mentor of life and a...
Nina
What I've Learned About Myself: Before my diagnosis, I was an overachiever, who spent many years as a people pleaser. I was bad at setting boundaries and often spread myself too thin. I never considered my mental health as something that I should prioritize until I...
Michael
Something I am Proud Of: One of the moments I’m most proud of in my journey managing Bipolar Disorder 2 was when I decided to share my story publicly for the first time. After staying silent for 2.5 years following HR’s advice to keep my diagnosis hidden, I finally...
Daniel
Something I am Proud Of: In the early stages of my illness, I spent years living with a constant feeling of desperation. It was so overwhelming that it clouded my judgment and made it impossible to see any hope for a brighter future. Waking up each day, overwhelmed...
Zeynab
Something I am Proud Of: I am proud of myself for my sheer will to get diagnosed with the help of my compassionate and amazing aunt. I have been ignored; turned away by so many doctors for having anxiety or a panic disorder since I was 19 that I was hopeless. I truly...
Jack
Something I am Proud Of: From my teen years on, my moods and behavior were an omnipresent issue in my life. Although I excelled academically in high school, my relationships were extremely volatile, a pattern that would continue into my tumultuous college years....
Jorine
Something I am Proud Of: After moving for the 3th time in 1 year, losing my cherished job as an art teacher, another broken relationship, hardly sleeping for months, drowning in a crippling depression, while slipping into psychosis, I’ve got diagnosed 10 yrs ago. With...
Tasjenee
Something I am Proud Of: I have been living with Bipolar 1 Disorder since 2023. However my Journey did not start there. My earliest symptoms started in 2020 , shortly after the birth of my third baby. I was on maternity leave from the military and I had just had...
Ned
Something I am Proud Of: I am proud of how my career has progressed since my diagnosis. I was diagnosed in 2019 almost a year before the first wave of the pandemic. Since my diagnosis AND a few med changes , I’ve been able to succeed at work and be promoted more than...
Charles
Something I am Proud Of: After being diagnosed at the age of 23, my life was falling apart. I was kicked out of college, lost my girlfriend of three years, and just attended a medical convention in which I felt like an imposter. Even worse, I began to unravel in and...
Saskia
Something I am Proud Of: I was 30 when first diagnosed with Bipolar type II, comorbid with borderline personality disorder. I finally reached out to a professional help after decades of hesitation thinking that I simply just a very “emotional” person. I was relieved...
Greg
Something I am Proud Of: Proud of Pushing Through the Fear of Bipolar I’m proud that despite my early experiences with bipolar in my family, I was able to push through the fear, and accept and embrace my diagnosis of bipolar. In the late 1970s, my sister was...
Samantha
Something I am Proud Of: Learn to rest, not to quit. These words have stuck with me through my bipolar I journey since diagnosed at 19-years-old. When I was first diagnosed, I experienced a mammoth wave of both relief – finally putting a name to the unexplained...
Aimee
Something I am Proud Of: This marks 25 years since being diagnosed with Bipolar I disorder. After I was diagnosed, I was told I would never function fully in life and would be permanently disabled. Sadly, for many years, I believed this narrative. Thankfully, I have...
Gaby
Something I am Proud Of: Throughout this journey, I have discovered more about myself than I ever could have imagined. My experiences with depression began in 7th grade and evolved into struggles with suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, self-harm, PTSD, and psychosis...
Betsi
Something I am Proud Of: I have been living with the diagnosis of Bipolar 1 since 2001. It has been quite the journey and I have learned a great deal in 23 years of managing my diagnosis. On June 14, 2024, I celebrated 10 years of stability. While it hasn’t been...
Angelo
Something I am Proud Of: I am proud of the fact that I can live a balanced, meaningful life with family, friends, music, martial arts, and a career in cybersecurity even with bipolar disorder. I thought my life was over when I had to be rushed to the hospital and I...
Gabriela
Something I am Proud Of: I am grateful for the journey I've been through, for being diagnosed quickly, and for finding the right treatment for me. Ever since I was a teenager, I suffered from anxiety and depression, with crying spells, suicidal thoughts, and impulsive...
Jillian
Something I am Proud Of: My experience with bipolar disorder has instilled in me a deep empathy for those navigating mental health challenges within the criminal justice system. While my journey hasn't been without its hurdles, such as major depressive episodes and...
Nika
Something I am Proud Of: My story of resilience began nine years ago. That was the year I entered law school. They asked me: “are you sure you can handle this?” Hardly scratching the surface of what my Bipolar I diagnosis meant, I said I could. It took me twice as...
Conlan
Something I am Proud Of: I’m not going to lie, sometimes it is difficult to acknowledge the parts of me that I am proud of. Before, I found pride and value in a lot of external things: my wardrobe, my relationships with others, how I presented on social media. In the...
Aníta
Something I am Proud Of: What I am proud of in my journey is that I never gave up, no matter how hard things got. I always found a way to power through the darkness after a manic episode, and the trauma that can come along. I have been in a mental hospital 4 times...