Having been diagnosed as a manic depressive in 2009, I have had my roller coaster ride on this illness. My brain starts to function in such a manner that no one could ever understand or fathom the swings in my moods and behavior. As a person with bipolar disorder myself, I experienced extremities in my way of thinking. More often than not, this destroys my relationship with the people around me and with people I am acquainted with.
My thoughts are quite extreme; everything would feel like every situation is a matter of life and death. The extremities I feel daily in my life would often ruin my day and the day of the people I love. I feel depressed, paranoid and elated most of the time. If my boyfriend will not text as fast as I am texting him, I would feel like he is betraying me and he is cheating. If my boss gives a sarcastic comment on the work I have done, I feel like he is against me and that he is going to fire me.
Obsessive. Yes, I have obsessive thoughts. A not-so-good remark from a loved one would often create chaos in my brain. The thought will always be repeatedly voicing itself in my mind like an echo that keeps on repeating. It would last through days and weeks and even months. It would affect my self-esteem, my perspective in life and my perspective with the people I am with.
In addition, for people with bipolar disorder, like me, it tends to be hard to focus on a task because we have distracted thoughts. We normally find it hard to finish a project that is being given to us because of the rapid thoughts that are going on in our mind, thus making it harder to function in the job that we have.
People with bipolar disorder tend to overreact to situations because of our poor views on a certain situation that came our way. We tend to overreact, and may become violent and compulsive in our behavior.
These things I endure every day because I know that a cure for this illness is quite impossible up to now. So if you are one of those who experience this, you might as well share this blog with the people you love who are looking after you so they can better understand your situation, and so they can know that you are not being mean. Rather, it’s your illness that makes you so “crazy” at times.
Read more of Amor’s posts here.