Being a parent is hard. Let’s face it, there is no instruction manual. Goodness knows we’re all going to make our share of mistakes. It’s just a part of life. As hard as parenting is, usually you have a partner to help you thru the tough times. It’s even harder when you’re a single parent. Single mom, single dad it doesn’t matter. It’s just hard. There is no one to turn to in the middle of a bad day and say I need a break or I can’t handle this right now. It’s all on you. And even harder than that is managing all the responsibilities of being a single parent while dealing with a mental illness. Yes, I am Bipolar. I also have anxiety & major depressive disorder. But if that wasn’t enough, I also have a 10 year old daughter who is also bipolar with psychotic tendencies, Anxiety, major Depressive disorder, Oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. You could say I’m fighting a losing battle here. But fight I do. Some days I feel like I’m better off if I just stay in bed with the covers pulled tight over my head, but then who will fix breakfast. Who will pay the bills? Who will wash the clothes? Who will fix the lunches? Who will get Bug to Cheerleading practice? Who will take Bee to soccer practice? Yes I am the mother of two beautiful little girls. Well they aren’t as little as they use to be. They are 10 and 7 years old now, all grown up as far as they are concerned, still babies in my eyes. (We try to compromise.) Point is, it’s all up to me. I don’t get an off day; I don’t get to call in sick. I don’t get vacation days or paid time off. I have a full time job taking care of my two little girls. And it takes all that I have in me to do it and take care of myself in the process. Because I do still have to take care of myself. I didn’t come with a bill of health. I came with flaws. That doesn’t make me less of a person. In fact it makes me sort of unique. There is no one out there quite like me. As with all of us Bipolaree’s we are each very unique in our own little ways. And I am creative and smart and sometimes fun to be around. But sometimes there are the not so fun times too. That’s why it is important that I take extra special care of my health to make sure I am in tip top shape for my girls. It is important that I stay focused and level headed. That I always remember to not only take my meds when I am supposed to take them but also to make sure I have enough of them on hand to be able to take them. Which means making sure I get them refilled when necessary. And I am the world’s worst about forgetting them at the pharmacy. So I have to set little reminders. And the pharmacy I use has a system that they will text message you when your prescription is ready for pickup so there is another reminder. I also have to make sure to keep all my doctor appointments and not forget them which mean more reminders. I have worked out a very good system for this. I set alerts in my cell phone to remind me of important dates and times. Not only do I have to do all of this for myself but I have to do this for Bug as well to keep her healthy and stable. It all boils down to stability. It takes a lot out of me to make it thru each day, but every day is worth twice the price I pay. I go thru a lot being on my own and sometimes I stumble, sometimes I fall. But when I do I have a great family who has been there to help me back up again. I have a really great family and although they really don’t understand why I am the way I am sometimes, they are always there for me especially my mom. Even if she doesn’t understand completely, she is always there when I need her even if it is just to listen. So even though I am a single parent and essentially raising my children alone, I am never really alone. Bipolar makes everything difficult but nothing is impossible. Even the word says Im possible.
