What I wish I knew at the start of my journey:
What I wish I knew at the start would be no matter how people disappoint you in your journey by leaving or discouraging you that you deep down are stronger and resilient. I have overcome being in four mental institutes, a children’s home, group home, back and forth between my parents, four foster homes, a halfway house, a maternity home, and alcohol abuse as well as self harm behaviors.
The light in my story:
The light in my story is that I’ve stuck with therapy and have gotten proactive in my recovery. I also have recently started back attending mental health support groups and for the first time this year I walked in the annual National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Tarrant County, Texas’ chapter’s walk to raise awareness and funds to support the mental health community. I had been put off participating in this 5k event for years and it was gratifying to walk. In addition, I have gotten more expressive when communicating with my professional who handle my medications and therapy as well as my family doctor and specialists that I see. In the past I was pretty much reserved in accepting my diagnosis as futile and depressing when in fact it has empowered me to advocate for myself. I have been more vocal about what does and does not work for me when dealing with those in the mental health field who are assigned to assist me. I had some bad experiences with some former psychiatrists, social workers, psychologists and in some cases the interaction was actually detrimental to my mental health due to a few professionals not understanding mental illness and the stigma that surrounds it. Additionally, I have forced myself to be transparent in my recovery when attending meetings and groups and not pretending like all is okay when it’s not. As a result I’ve gotten more positive feedback and suggestions which has assisted me a great deal in my journey.
Last month I attended the annual NAMI Jacksonville conference for the second time with my sister Cindy, my biggest cheerleader who has always been by my side throughout all my struggles and obstacles, never giving up on me. When so many turned their back on me due to not understanding my illness and posted hurtful things to me online, Cindy never wavered in her faith of me and that meant the world. She used to tell me that it only takes one person to be by your side and not give up on you and she has been that for me.
My message for those who are newly diagnosed would be no matter how people disappoint you in your journey by leaving or discouraging you that you deep down are stronger and resilient.
