Author: Charles Kelly

My realization didn’t come all at once; it wasn’t marked by a single, defining day. Instead, it arrived in waves, each one gently reminding me how far I had come in my journey toward mental health. These moments of clarity weren’t random; they were hard-won through insights and shifts in perspective that gradually taught me how to understand and manage my bipolar disorder in healthier ways. Each wave became a steppingstone, helping me recognize that the frustrations and challenges I faced were not signs of personal failure but opportunities for growth and understanding.

Here Are My Realizations:

1. When I realized the people who annoyed me throughout the week were not the problem. I was essentially the problem because I controlled how I reacted and was giving that power to the people who annoyed me.
2. When I realized life was not just about me; it was about serving an unselfish and morally correct purpose greater than myself and living in gratitude.
3. When I started prioritizing being present; it taught me not to escape into my imagination, even in pleasant memories like those of Florida, but to face reality head-on.
4. When I stopped chasing perfection. Learning this helped me stop being destroyed by criticism and taught me to accept “good enough” and not personalize feedback.
5. When I began to laugh at myself, especially when Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” came on the radio while I was in the car with my family, turning an awkward moment into a reminder not to take life too seriously.
6. When I realized that nothing was past the point of being fixable. For some reason, after the hospital, I felt like a failure when I was a champion who weathered something most people wouldn’t have been able to. It was something to be proud of, not a negative memory.
7. When taking my medication made me happy. It was a conscious decision to choose health over madness. Even when I considered the cognitive dulling effects, I remembered being in the hospital, caught in delusions and hallucinations, realizing that was not the life I wanted.
8. When I started going to Barnes & Noble instead of the bar, I chose environments that supported my well-being.
9. When I started keeping medication in my car to ensure a soothing drive home after the gym. The constant rumination and grandiose superficial garbage were too much, even for ten minutes, and having my medication made me safer on the roads.
10. When I realized life is a marathon, not a sprint, by making sure I always properly rested and recovered to maintain mood stability and avoid potential sickness.
11. When I realized life was not a competition. I used to constantly compare myself to others and ruminate on what I lacked. Focusing on my own path helped me cultivate gratitude, keeping me happy and grounded.
12. When I became accountable for my actions. This taught me that I am responsible for what I do and helped me minimize overactive self-criticism, allowing my actions to provide lessons that enable a greater version of myself.
13. When I focused on what I can and can’t control. I realized I could control my attitude, temperance, and cognitive flexibility but not what happens, how I am perceived, or if I am misunderstood.
14. When I started to allow myself to feel emotions directly, such as sadness, and letting myself cry rather than letting feelings accumulate and explode later. I also learned that a sudden surge of energy is not normal and a sign to contact my doctor and take my medication.
15. When I began to let go of the need for control, with thoughts like, “If I don’t do these things, then I will become sick,” and, “If I don’t do the work for this, it won’t be good.” These were purely inner dialogue problems that just needed to be addressed in therapy, which they were.
16. When I began to cultivate daily gratitude by reminding myself how lucky I am to have my health intact, especially when thinking of individuals with bipolar disorder who may still be struggling in the hospital.
17. Embracing Dr. Amen’s 18/40/60 Rule offered insights into how I was perceived:
    • At 18 years old, you worry about what everyone thinks of you.
    • At 40 years old, you don’t care what anyone thinks of you.
    • At 60 years old, you realize nobody was really thinking about you at all.
18. When I realized overcoming a manic episode was an accomplishment. I had believed I was a failure for sending confusing texts to coworkers. However, weathering the episode, accepting the doctors’ help, and sticking with treatment is my greatest achievement.
19. When I realized to embrace my true nature. I finally accepted myself as Charles Kelly, meeting my true nature for the first time and discovering genuine self-acceptance.
20. When I learned to trust the process. Although it can be confusing when doctors probe cognitive coherence without your knowledge, I realized that blind faith in medical professionals is essential.
21. When I started to reframe bipolar disorder by viewing it as something that I need to live with, like diabetes. Just as insulin helps regulate blood sugar, self-care tactics, medication, and therapy help regulate bipolar disorder.
22. When I stopped being OCD about everything. An interesting analogy for this is a butterfly. When you try to chase a butterfly, it always evades you, but when you stop and stand still, it just lands on you. So many things in my life have been like this: my weight, sleep, college performance, work performance, and relationships—literally everything.
23. When I realized personal growth comes from overcoming challenges. It’s not just reaching the destination but what shapes my character, enthusiasm, and drive and gives me pride in my story.
24. When I realized the only one judging me was myself. This helped me decrease the voice of self-criticism and increase my self-compassion.
25. When I realized chasing stability could cause instability. Pursuing it too hard only made it more elusive, but letting it come through healthy habits made it attainable.
26. When I realized to stop waiting for perfect conditions and just start. Growth and progression are far more valuable than perfection.
27. When I realized food was a more responsible choice than another coffee. Choosing nourishment over another stimulant like coffee became a healthier decision for me.
28. When I realized paper has more patience than people ~Anne Frank. Journaling became a staple for learning more about my thought patterns, personal development, and trauma, making me more aware of my thinking process.
29. When I realized I was suffering more in my own imagination than in reality ~ Seneca. The simple realization that my mind tends to distort things and be negative brought me all the comfort I needed, especially knowing that I have individuals I can rely on, like my therapist and doctor.
30. When I realized how thankful I am for the bipolar community. Recognizing the power of this community reminded me I was not facing the journey alone. Every story of struggle and triumph encouraged me to keep going, showing that together, we can turn even the hardest days into genuine hope and progress.

The content of the International Bipolar Foundation blogs is for informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician and never disregard professional medical advice because of something you have read in any IBPF content.