Celebrating Lisa’s Strength 💪

What am I most proud of on my bipolar journey? I’m a survivor.

Right now, in this moment of time and place, I am stable. I am a productive member of society. I take my meds and attend group and individual therapy sessions. I can keep up with my bills and hygiene. I am not participating in risky behaviors. I do not have any addictions.  I am living the best possible life I can with the tools and support that I have.

But it wasn’t always this way. There were years of struggle trying out new meds and therapy—the constant hopelessness that I’d never be better, whatever that definition meant. My brain was constantly on fire, and I was living with nearly every symptom of my disease that it became unbearable. When I thought I had one symptom managed, another would pop up in its place.

I struggled to find hope but I mostly felt hopeless and unseen. My friends weren’t like this. They didn’t struggle with mania or depression. Their thinking wasn’t often black or white, and they didn’t buy ten of the same pair of pants in different colors because you never know. Also, who needs two dozen pairs of Converse Chuck Taylors? Apparently, I did! I justified my spending to my partner by telling them the famous last words in our family, “It was on sale.”

But when all is said and done, even now, in my recovery, I love being bipolar. I love knowing that my perspective of the world is a little different, and I can see and enjoy things most people cannot. Years of looking at things in broad swathes taught me in my recovery to look for the little details in my everyday life. In its own way, the world is new and amazing. I honestly do do not think my non-recovery days were mostly hopeless. Rather, I knew, even in my darkest hours, that things would be OK even if I presented to the world it was not.

I need to add to my answer again. I am not only a survivor and I have hope, but I also believe. I believe the world can be open and new to people with bipolar. I believe that we can give so much to ourselves and our communities because we are unique. As we move into recovery, our struggles become gifts. We know empathy, solidarity, and sympathy. We can provide answers that those who are not bipolar cannot. We understand so much more about the world around us that our gifts are our blessings.

I know some days are hard, and others harder still, but you are not alone. Your journey is my journey, and vice versa. When I went into recovery, and I’ve been in recovery for many years now, I promised myself that I would volunteer my time to help others who are finding their way. In addition to writing for IBPF, I want to train to become a peer counselor. I want to be the proof that things can and will change for the better, that new treatments are coming our way, and that we can lead productive lives. We need to show the world we are amazing people. We thrive and give so much to society. We should be seen and heard.

World Bipolar Day is March 30th to honor the birthday of Vincent Van Gogh who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar. He is considered one of the greatest artists who ever lived and his eye for detail and the world around him has made amazing contributions to history. Another famous person with bipolar is Carrie Fisher, also known as Princess Leia, who made advocating for mental health a huge part of her life. Singers Selena Gomez, Kurt Cobain, frontman for the legendary grunge band Nirvana, and Jimi Hendrix have been diagnosed with bipolar. One of my favorite authors, Ernest Hemingway, was also diagnosed. There are numerous lists with verifiable accounts of people who were diagnosed and have made amazing contributions to the arts, humanities, and sciences.

In my darkest days before recovery, that tiny, tiny glimmer of hope remained because I knew that people like Carrie, Kurt, and Ernest existed. I knew if they could do amazing things, so could I.

Surviving. Hope. Belief. As long as I have those three, I know I’ll be OK.

#Bipolarstrong 🌍

The content of the International Bipolar Foundation blogs is for informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician and never disregard professional medical advice because of something you have read in any IBPF content.