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Personal Story

I was sitting in my psychiatrist’s office recently in a large, oversized chair staring at the slightly crooked pictures on the wall. A boat. A beach. African figures. I could hear the ticking of the clock as I scanned the piles of books and patient records underneath, looking at anything but her face. Tick. Tick. Tick. I knew what she was going to...
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I have bipolar disorder, anxiety, PTSD and OCD. It’s not easy living with me sometimes, especially if I forget to take my meds. I also have a history of drug and alcohol abuse. I am 41 years old, and I have spent most of the first 40 years stretching my body and mind to their limits. I have put myself in quite a few disastrous situations. I have...
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Pushed to The Brink

August 18, 2016
When I wrote about my bipolar disorder, anxiety and PTSD, I thought it was the hardest thing I did. But now I realise that what I’m writing about today is the hardest thing I have ever done. The only reason this has taken me so long is the same reason why I kept quiet about my illness in the first place: opinions of others, judgment from others....
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Parenting Made Interesting

August 18, 2016
For parents taking care of a child who has autism, life is an everyday challenge. Sometimes, it's good. Other times, not so much. But what if you're a single parent? What if you're a single parent who has bipolar disorder? What would it be like then? With my son and me, I'd say the answer is … interesting.Having bipolar disorder presents me with...
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My first instinct when realizing I needed psychiatric help because I was having a breakdown, was to call my company’s EAP (Employee’s Assistance Program). I was lost and they advertised at work that this program could help with many different things, one of them being depression.I thought I was suffering from depression, so I called the program. I...
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Recently I gave a keynote presentation at the Victorian Collaborative Mental Health Nursing Conference in Australia. It was amazing and inspirational to see the great work so many mental health nurses are doing. The title of my keynote was ‘World Changing’. This title had two meanings. My keynote was about therapeutic relationships and the people...
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How I Saved My Life

August 16, 2016
I roll over to the edge of my bed and start searching for my pills: white pill, purple pill and a couple of other pills my psychiatrist said I needed. I'm not ready to get out of bed, but I know I can't miss another day at work. By the time I'm in the shower, I'm already mentally exhausted and ready to go back to bed.As I step through the glass...
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Does the title of this blog scare you? Does it make you laugh? Does it make you cry? Make you shudder? It might do one or all of those things. Most people never want to admit they have been to a psychiatric hospital. I can't say I would have ever dreamed I would be talking about this out loud, but the path between me and a psych ward is...
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Burnt

August 15, 2016
I have recently experienced a mental health burnout.Normally, when I say that I mean I’m tired of dealing with my own mental health, but not this time. This time I am just jaded regarding the blogging I do.Just over two years ago I went public with my condition on Facebook and Twitter. And the response was overwhelmingly positive. I received a lot...
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When I first started writing for International Bipolar Foundation, it was a coming out of sorts about my mental illness. I was open about it with the people in my life, on social media and on my own blog, but it wasn’t until I started writing for IBPF that, if you Google searched my name, you would find information about my bipolar disorder....
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If you walked into my house right now, this is what you would see: dishes piling up, laundry in piles waiting to be folded, a dirty floor and me in bed.It’s happening again. I’m having another manic episode. This one, though, is different. Maybe it’s the empty house or the loneliness of not having someone to lie next to at night. Maybe it’s...
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Have you ever been so afraid of tripping that you couldn't take a flight of stairs, even though something like that would never happen? This is the stage setting for my anxiety disorder. I have written about my bipolar disorder a lot of times, but my anxiety didn't let me write about my anxiety. I stand in front of the staircase,...
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