Bipolar is such a tough disease to live with, day in and day out. Never knowing when or where your moods will change. Yet what I always found even more challenging is when I did not know what my triggers were and what to do when they came at me from all directions.
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So, as you know if you read my other blog, I am triggered very harshly by the sounds of chewing (even if it's quiet)! My fiancé and I turn on the television when we eat together to drown out the chewing noises so I don't become manic.
Jumping off my balcony, abusing drugs, walking down the middle of a highway and neglecting meds. That’s how I use to ring in the New Year and wish my family a Merry Christmas. Since I’ve been diagnosed bipolar in 2011 I’ve found that once the Christmas season hits, I start to experience relapses. I could be as stable as a seamstress going into the holidays but just the anticipation of knowing they are arriving brings such great distress to my life. I mean it’s such a jolly time of year; I hate always being the one to ruin Christmas and New Year for everyone.
Although I was officially diagnosed in March 2009 with Bipolar I disorder and began treatment, I am confident in saying that my bipolar episodes started well before that time. If I could guess somewhat accurately, I would say it all started somewhere around the age of 18 … which would be the early 90’s. If I only knew then what I do know now, oh how I would have done things differently! At the same time, I am a firm believer in the saying “everything happens for a reason”. For some reason, my illness led me to who I am and where I am today, and I have faith that is exa
Suicide has been in the media a lot over the last little while due to the very sad passing of Robin Williams. As such a public figure, his death has started a broader conversation about suicide. I do not know his circumstances and so I will not dwell on what lead Mr. Williams to suicide, except to say that clearly a very kind soul has been lost.
Recently my seven year old was rushed to the emergency room. In the past two weeks this kid has been poked with needles, had ultrasounds done, been seen by numerous doctors, and is scheduled for more tests to figure out what has caused her medical issues and how to go about treating them. When our children become ill and we’re feeling helpless, we have to dig deep to hold things together not for only that child, but for the rest of the family as well. I am finding this quite difficult to do. Speaking with my own doctor about what’s been going on, he has upped my own meds a bit to help get t