Category: Caregiver

Weathering Bipolar

Weathering Bipolar

by Melinda Goedeke A woman and her child sit tightly together in their stranded car hoping and praying help is on its way. Snowflake after snowflake rapidly envelopes the car until it cannot move at all. Nearly out of gas, the car remains off, and they snuggle trying...

Therapizing

Therapizing

Author: Melinda Goedeke Dedicated, thanks and praise to my therapist.   I used to have a stabbing searing pain in my right shoulder. You couldn’t tell by looking at me as I winced silently until I simply could not.  At that point, I sought medical help and now go...

It’s Puzzling

It’s Puzzling

Author: Melinda Goedeke   To still my brain, I puzzle. In my world, puzzle is a verb. It is what you do when the thoughts in your mind run rampant and collide leaving you lost in chaos. While puzzling, I only consider the pieces in front of me. Where is the piece...

I See You

I See You

Author: Melinda Goedeke I have two children. One is low key, mild-mannered, and has a half tooth. The other is high-key, wild-mannered and has a double tooth. Both are brilliant, beautiful and better than me, but one is living, and one is dead. Laura died from bipolar...

An 18-Year Bipolar Romance

An 18-Year Bipolar Romance

Author: Dayna J. It’s common knowledge that fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. Psychology Today cites that statistic as high as ninety percent when at least one partner lives with bipolar disorder! I am grateful to be beating those odds and celebrating my...

Sit Close to the Fire

Sit Close to the Fire

Author: Melinda Goedeke We don’t have bonfires. We have scorching, searing conflagrations that silently raise our internal boiling points until we are nearly cooked and charred.   We scoot back only an inch as we don’t really want to leave the warmth despite the fear...

A New Belief System

A New Belief System

Author: Melinda Goedeke I remember when my daughter was 22, and she started talking about wanting children some day.  This was cause for celebration as Laura often didn’t believe she had a future; her bipolar disorder caused her to live fast, talk fast and...

Honoring Her Illness

Honoring Her Illness

Author: Melinda Goedeke Destigmatize: to remove association from shame or disgrace  (according to Miriam Webster). I like destigmatizing; it feels honorable and worthwhile. And it is. I destigmatize all over the place often with tears streaming down my face as I...

Sure, I’m Okay

Sure, I’m Okay

Author: Melinda Goedeke Recently, I went on an incredible rafting trip down the Colorado River in Moab, Utah. If I fell out of the raft, I was told to put my hand on my head signaling I was okay.  The guide said that okay meant I was alive.  I might be bleeding,...

The Time is Now

The Time is Now

Author: Melinda Goedeke Every time I drive home, I have to decide exactly when to turn onto my street as that split second decision could be the difference between making it safely home or not.   My timing has to be perfect. I am sometimes forced (in my mind)  to cut...

Eternal Sleep 

Eternal Sleep 

Author: Melinda Goedeke  Sleeping is an event for me. 8:30 p.m. comes around, and I start thinking about sleep. I put on my oversized jammies and crawl into bed ready…..ready to shut down. To stop. To rest. My husband doesn’t do any “readying” and is asleep the moment...

She Would Want Us to Talk

She Would Want Us to Talk

Author: Melinda Goedeke Enraptured in a riveting discussion about The Crucible in my junior lit. class, I vaguely hear a threatening buzzing. And then I spot it – a killer bee swiftly flying around the room darting over heads and under desks, coyly, without...

Grief Is Love

Grief Is Love

Author: Kerri Scott I don’t know what it’s like to live with bipolar disorder but I know what it’s like to lose someone to bipolar disorder. When I was 25, during the heat of the summer I got the news. A mutual friend called to tell me that my boyfriend had died. He...

A Mother’s Marathon

A Mother’s Marathon

Author: Melinda Goedeke I remember when Laura was little staring at me with a mix of defiance, confidence and spunk refusing to walk without her doll stroller. She was 16 months old and could most definitely walk. She knew walking solo meant moving to the “big kid...

The Power of Just

The Power of Just

Author: Melinda Goedeke When my beautiful daughter was 23,  she was asked to be in one of her best friend’s wedding. Running towards me with her infectious smile, she shared the news with me talking so quickly I barely understood. What I did understand is that she was...

How to Talk to a Loved One with Bipolar Disorder

How to Talk to a Loved One with Bipolar Disorder

Author: Rebecca James Talking to someone with bipolar disorder can be confusing and overwhelming, particularly if the person is in crisis. Here are some key words to use to connect with your loved one. Tell me. Tell me what you’re feeling. This gentle command can be...

Dating and Mental Illness: For Better or Worse

Dating and Mental Illness: For Better or Worse

Author: Eliora Mae Baker Dating is not always pretty, and love is hard at times. The difficulties of being in a relationship with someone diagnosed with bipolar disorder are many. Is a relationship with someone with bipolar completely out of the question?...

Communication And Trust: How Do I Convince A Loved One To Seek Help?

Communication And Trust: How Do I Convince A Loved One To Seek Help?

Both in my profession and as a mother of a 22 year-old daughter who has been living with bipolar disorder since age 12, I have personally seen the difficulties experienced by both the loved one and those who care about him/her, particularly at the outset. My hope is...

My Pharmacy And Me

My Pharmacy And Me

By Janet Coburn You may think that your psychiatrist and your psychotherapist constitute your treatment team. You can add your caregiver, your bipolar friends, and your online groups and call them your support system. But there’s one person you’ve left...

Three Concentric Circles

Three Concentric Circles

By: Karen Meadows In retrospect, during my daughter’s battle with mental illness, I wasted a lot of energy worrying about things I couldn’t control. When I learned about a framework called Three Concentric Circles at work, I realized this was a powerful approach I...

Questions About Bipolar My Friends Always Wanted To Ask

Questions About Bipolar My Friends Always Wanted To Ask

I have been very open about my diagnosis and journey to recovery and acceptance. I started my blog to chronicle the ups and downs that I experience during my journey. Recently my friends were open enough to ask me questions they have always wanted to know about living...

Happy Birthday to a Brilliant Father From Your #1 Fan

Happy Birthday to a Brilliant Father From Your #1 Fan

Dear Dad,  On your birthday, and on every day, you should know how appreciated and loved you are. I am your daughter that was shy, was afraid of strangers, had separation anxiety from Mom (from what I hear), and was afraid of my own shadow. I played it safe...

Never Give Up Hope: 6 Lessons I Learned in My 10 Year Quest for Treatment

Never Give Up Hope: 6 Lessons I Learned in My 10 Year Quest for Treatment

In December 2012, after a tragic school shooting in Newtown, I thought I was the only mother in America who asked myself, “What if that’s my son someday?” It turns out I was far from alone. Every single day since I shared my family’s struggle in a blog post, “I Am...

Helping A Loved One When They’re Not Doing Well

Helping A Loved One When They’re Not Doing Well

I recently watched as a friend deteriorated as a result of a new medication. She was having an adverse reaction to it and within days was manic. Everyone else saw a happy-go-lucky her, while I saw the irritation building in her, as well as her frustration as she tried...

Don’t Pressure Me, Man – A Male Mental Health Perspective: Part 1

Don’t Pressure Me, Man – A Male Mental Health Perspective: Part 1

Society places many pressures and points of stress on the male gender all of the time. Everywhere we look, the men have incredible amounts of pressure to “live up” to what society expects or thinks the male gender should act, feel, or do. One might be surprised that...

Mental Health Awareness Q&A with David Susman, PhD

Mental Health Awareness Q&A with David Susman, PhD

The Canadian Mental Health Association first introduced Mental Health Week in 1951, and it has since become a yearly tradition. This year, Canada celebrated its 65th annual Mental Health Week from May 2, 2016 to May 8, 2016.  In the US, Mental Health Month takes...

Invasion of the Body Snatchers – Coping with my Wife’s Mania

Invasion of the Body Snatchers – Coping with my Wife’s Mania

Sometimes the hardest part about being married to someone with bipolar disorder is trying to reconcile the actions of the illness from the actions of the person. When you live with someone long enough you get to know them pretty well.  You become comfortable...

Breaking the Stigma

Breaking the Stigma

When I first met my wife she was invisible. Sometime after her bipolar diagnosis she was led to believe that her illness was not something to be discussed, it was something to be ashamed of. Most people that knew her diagnosis tried to be supportive of her “moodiness”...

Someone Who Understands

Someone Who Understands

Jane and her fiance, Dana, each wrote about their relationship for our couples series. JaneWriting a blog set together is both an awesome and odd experience. I write without outlines, and pour everything out – much like I deal with my moods. My fiance Dana needed...

My Biggest Supporter

My Biggest Supporter

Lynn and her husband, Bill, each wrote about their relationship for our Couples Series. Lynn I do almost everything on my own and find it hard to let people help me. What I have learned with this illness is that sometimes it’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to...

Marriage and Mental Health: How a Rough Start Built a Strong Foundation

Marriage and Mental Health: How a Rough Start Built a Strong Foundation

Sean’s wife, Sarah, wrote a blog that goes with this one. We recommend reading them together. In terms of mental health, we live in the best possible time; and the future only looks to be even better. We have resources and treatments, and an impressive...

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

Stephanie’s husband, Don, wrote an accompanying blog to his post for our Couples Series. We recommend reading them together. Relationships are hard. Add to them the element of a mental illness and they become almost impossible. But I’ve learned a lot from...

You and Me and Bipolar Makes Three

You and Me and Bipolar Makes Three

Don’s wife, Stephanie, wrote a blog that compliments this one for our Couples Series. We recommend reading them together. Stephanie and I, after being together for 9 years, finally got married last October. The question that I often get asked afterwards by...

The Do’s and Don’ts When Visiting Someone in a Psychiatric Hospital

The Do’s and Don’ts When Visiting Someone in a Psychiatric Hospital

My last blog post, “My Manic Summer Take Two”, was written while I was in a psychiatric hospital for psychotic mania. Well, nothing much has changed as I am still hospitalised for that episode and am writing from hospital. To be clear, I am not writing this while...

What I’ve Learned Since We Found Out My Wife Has Bipolar Disorder

What I’ve Learned Since We Found Out My Wife Has Bipolar Disorder

Daniel’s wife Melanie wrote a blog that goes with this one for our Couples Series, we recommend reading them together. I have known my wife Melanie for over 9 years, and we got married in May of 2015. When we first met I was so happy because I had never been in...

My Wife, Bipolar, and I

My Wife, Bipolar, and I

Beka is one of our bloggers and her husband, Ron, wrote this post for our couples series. Read Beka’s accompanying post here.I read somewhere recently that the divorce rate when one marriage partner has bipolar disorder is 90%. While it seems kind of high to me,...

Couples Counseling: What’s It All About and Should You Go?

Couples Counseling: What’s It All About and Should You Go?

Valentine’s Day is all about the romantic, idealistic side of love. While it can be fun and meaningful to celebrate your relationship with your spouse or partner (if you have one), the reality is that relationships can be hard. The Hollywood, happily-ever-after ideal...

What If He Won’t Commit to Regular Counseling

What If He Won’t Commit to Regular Counseling

“You’re right, I’m a terrible mother, I’m a horrible wife, I just can’t do anything right!” I confessed as I faced my husband following his recital of my shortcomings after coming home to a messy house and 2 unkept daughters. That night I decided that my husband...

What Love Means Now

What Love Means Now

My version of love has changed from the past several years. When I was younger, love to me was an infatuation. When I was in my 20’s, love was lust – yes, there is a difference, but the label of love was used. Now, in my late 30’s, love is completely...

I Can’t Guarantee I’ll Never Become Manic Again

I Can’t Guarantee I’ll Never Become Manic Again

I have only been hospitalised for mania once (you can read about my experience here). My memory of that time is hazy and distorted by the manic lenses I was wearing but to say that it was dramatic is putting it lightly. I had just turned 23, was newly diagnosed with...

How to Support a Loved One Dealing with Mania

How to Support a Loved One Dealing with Mania

Sometimes mania seems like the ugly stepchild of the bipolar duo of mania and depression. Depression seems to get all the hype, all the attention. And mania sits in a corner like Baby from Dirty Dancing. But if any of you have seen a loved one (or you yourself) have...

Mental Health Issues – A Challenge We Can Handle

Mental Health Issues – A Challenge We Can Handle

Human beings are social animals. We live in communities and in addition to our basic needs of clothing, shelter and food, we need strong bonds, of belongingness to go through the motions of life through good and bad times. In the case of a serious health issue...

Advice for Teens with Bipolar Disorder

Advice for Teens with Bipolar Disorder

Being a teen is rough. That’s the understatement of the century. Add having bipolar disorder on top of that and life just gets that much harder. I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 22, (I’m 28 now) but the signs were starting to show when I was in high school. It was...

When Someone You Care About is Institutionalized

When Someone You Care About is Institutionalized

I woke up sad and nervous before drug treatment court this morning.  My friend, Cee, was going to be held today in county jail until a bed opened up at a nearby drug treatment facility: she kept failing drug screens and this was her consequence. It would be meted...

What To Do If You Suspect Someone Has Bipolar

What To Do If You Suspect Someone Has Bipolar

Recently a friend asked me what to do about someone that he suspects has bipolar. It was not someone I knew and as he was back in his home country, I could only give some pointers over Facebook message. Firstly, I asked him to read up about the condition,...

The Caregiver Club

The Caregiver Club

IBPF recently did a lecture about families and bipolar disorder that featured both consumers and caregivers – there was someone living with bipolar disorder, their parent, and their sibling. Now, I thought that was an amazing idea because I have five siblings. Yup!...

Pregnancy Part 1 of 3 – I Didn’t Think I Would Make It This Far

Pregnancy Part 1 of 3 – I Didn’t Think I Would Make It This Far

“I didn’t think I’d make it this far.” This thought has been a constant on the minds of many, at least at one time or another. It is a blatant cry of lost hope, but the courageous steps of something to look forward to. It’s all about finding that ‘one thing’ that...

The Role of Love as a Healing Force in Bipolar Disorder

The Role of Love as a Healing Force in Bipolar Disorder

I just watched A Beautiful Mind again and found the premise that love conquers all somewhat hyperbolic in the film (I kept thinking, “If you’d just take your meds…”).  But then I remembered my college English teacher, who said hyperbole usually contains a shred of...

Loneliness

Loneliness

The days following my dad’s death by suicide were the loneliest of my life.  In a roomful of people, in the midst of a hug, in the middle of a conversation, the resounding thought I had was that I was alone. No one had the relationship I did with my dad, no one...

Bipolar Mother, Bipolar Son

Bipolar Mother, Bipolar Son

I dreamed of having a child throughout my formative years.  When asked what I would be when I grew up, I readily answered “A Mommy!”  I doted on baby dolls, babysat throughout my teen years and dressed every cat we ever owned up as a baby.  I deeply...

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